My bf and I have been together for just over a year and I’ve started to really question some of his behaviour recently and I need some help distinguishing what’s normal and what’s not. To get straight to the point, he’s always going on and on at me to get on phone call.
I call him all the time but there’s times when I’m just too tired, need some alone time or am working or studying and he doesn’t get it. I was working on a really time consuming craft project recently and he kept saying “why couldn’t you just phone me while you were doing it” and he went on about this for a good 20 minutes.
He’s also been making remarks about a dress that I wore recently that showed a lot of cleavage. I have fairly big boobs and genuinely cannot help when there’s a lot of cleavage sometimes. I love the dress and all he has done is say things like “oh so you’re just there with your t*ts out?” And “yeah I’m sure everyone’s looking at you because of that” and it’s just so annoying.
On top of that, he’s always asking where I’m at, who I’m with even after I’ve told him?
TLDR; my boyfriend is constantly making me feel bad about not calling when I’m busy and makes snarky remarks when I wear cleavage showing clothing
9 comments
I will quote a past redditor here: “Use those red flags as a cape and fly away.” This man is trying to control you. He wants to know exactly where you are at all times and is jealous of time that you spend without him. He is now making comments about what you wear. This is often how abusers start taking control of their partners. It will likely only get worse. Break up with him, preferably with a friend nearby or in public
That doesn’t sound fun at all
Set up your limits and boundaries (if not done yet).
If he doesn’t respect, not normal, leave him.
I think you posted this elsewhere already?
This guy is a creep.
If you had stopped at the phone call requests I would have said it’s perfectly normal. The rest just sounds mean and controlling.
I tried a LDR with a guy I really liked but it died out really soon. He didn’t like to chat and preferred phone calls. I hated that I had to put my life on hold to have multiple-hoirnphone calls with him. Chatting isn’t that intrusive. So it just got too restrictive for me and I started avoiding his phone calls. Needless to say it didn’t work out.
He sounds annoying. Does he have *any* good qualities?
Tell him to fuck off. Dude sounds cringy af.
Your bf is controlling and possessive. Not normal. It’s normal for a partner to say, if you’re busy or need alone time, “hey, enjoy your time and call me when you can!” not constantly badger you or expect you to split your attention. It’s rude of him to make remarks about your cleavage; he doesn’t want other people to look at him. It’s controlling of him to ask you where you are and who you’re with.
He sounds like a jerk. Stay if you like this kind of behavior. It’s not normal. It sounds controlling to me and I think that word is way overused.