My girlfriend (22) of roughly 4 months was previously hooking up with her weed dealer before we were dating. She does continue to go to him for her weed currently and I’ve told her it makes me uncomfortable that she does so.
I want to tell her that I don’t want her to go to him anymore but also don’t feel as if I have the right to say so. She tells me to trust her and I want to but my gut feels otherwise about the situation.
Is it wrong of me to ask her to stop seeing him? Or is it wrong if her to continue seeing him when I’ve told her how it makes me feel?
42 comments
The problem is you are putting all the decisions in her hands if you don’t want her seeing this guy say so and if she doesn’t then move on. You never leave your future in someone else’s hands either you are on the same page or not. You know the dealer is going to use weed as a way to get what he wants from her.
Tell her u don’t want…
Not worrying about situations like this is a definite upside of legalization. I have met my share of sketchy and unprofessional dealers, so yeah, I don’t blame you for feeling uncomfortable.
My man…you voiced your concern and she doesn’t care. It’s wrong for her to keep buying from a plug that she had sexual relations with, which she was likely doing just to get more bud. Sounds sketchy bro, just leave her and find someone that will respect you.
How to not get her to see him:
Always be strapped with good weed. Takes away the entire purpose of seeing him. Make sure the stuff is better, because then if she still goes back to him, it was never about the weed.
Good luck brother.
If you trust your gut she’s gonna be having hers explored by some lowly drug dealer. That’s a hard no bud ….the situation and her sound sleazy
That is a tough one, it is easier to find a boyfrind than a dealer with decent/good weed…
What you don’t go with her when she buys the stuff? That puts you more on ease
You can’t tell her who to be friends with. But that doesn’t team you have to date her.
I don’t date women still in contact with former romantic or sexual partners. Period.
Can she get a medical marijuana card? Just takes some looking into, but it’s not hard.
Bro, shes still fucking him. She doesn’t pay for weed.
You’re definitely smoking discount weed… girlfriend
Is using the ass discount
trust your gut dude. Thats all that needs to be said
You in some trouble dog. She getting free weed and he getting free ass. Everybody getting something but you. I don’t say this often, but it might be time for you to take your bone 🦴 to newer pastures.
Good luck, dog! PS, I hope you get to bury your bone soon.
Do not date girls that sleep with their drug dealers.
End things man. She didn’t take your concern seriously and says trust her but your gut says something else. Your gut most of the time is right and sorry to say but she’s probably not paying full price for that weed. I live in the California and it’s nice to be able to drive 5 minutes in any direction and have my choice of shops to pick up from. The taxes on it are insane but hey one thing at a time
It is disrespectful to your partner to maintain any type of relationship with previous lovers while you are in a committed relationship. She may be too young to understand that, which then it is your responsibility to tell her that, or she knows and she simply doesn’t care. If it’s the latter, she’s gotta go – otherwise you are disrespecting yourself.
my new york ass was like why doesn’t she just buy weed in stores 😪
Why do y’all do this to yourselves. Why even date a person that was fucking their weedman lmao, where do you think this is gonna go? She’ll magically listen when you pop up? She was getting free weed.
Any time a girl tells you to trust her it’s a wrap. You shouldn’t have to beg for trust, you should be trustworthy and people will know. Trustworthy gf material ain’t throwing it back for a couple grams.
Funny you talking about a “gut feeling”…. I wonder what her guts be feeling on them pickups.
Go with ur instinct. You know he’s still plowing her. That pussy been tampered with
If I was in your situation, I’d sit her down. Tell her I told you I wasn’t comfortable with going to him for anything. I wanted you to cut off contact with him. But however, you continue to cross my bounderies. I’m sorry, but I cannot continue with this relationship. Atleast that’s what I would say
If he has a BBC she’s still all over it. Even if not she’s choking down his loads all the time. You can’t be friends with a former FWB. You’re too used to fucking with no feelings.
Move on.
Solution: Find higher quality weed for her so you become her preferred weed dealer. 😉
I wouldn’t tell her what to do. I’d tell her how you feel. And let her make her own decisions. She apparently knows, and she doesn’t seem to care. Or, wants you to trust her.
Since they do have history together, that would be hard to control. Never try to control another human being. Tell them how you feel, that you feel uncomfortable with certain individuals, who she has had history with. It seems like a “you problem”. Until she proves not to be trusted, otherwise, over time.
As a general concept, people shouldn’t try to control another individual. They should tell them how they feel about a situation, and then let the Individual make their own decisions.
Never use the phrase “please don’t see this person anymore”. You’re not her parent or guardian. She’s a grown adult woman who is capable of making her own decisions.
This isn’t a big ask, IMO, but place that aside.
This is important to you, and she won’t even consider it. There’s a large fundamental relationship values gap here, so you two probably aren’t viable long-term.
Take her to a dispensary
Do you smoke with her?
You absolutely should tell her. She was likely getting free weed with their situation. Has she switched to buying it?
Why doesn’t she just go to the club?
After reading the comments by other Reddit users I have a couple Questions:
1. Is she buying week? (Everyone assumes it’s weed she buying)
2. If it is weed I have to agree with everyone. Why act like it’s the 90’s? I don’t partake anymore but it’s made clear that it’s safer and easier to purchase all weed paraphernalia at the shops! I mean, who uses a “dealer” for weed? Lol
3. Is she acting weird?
Sex and drugs rarely mix. I wouldn’t worry.
Why don’t you just pick up the weed from him. Sure you might not like it but she gets the same price cause she’s going thru dude and you don’t have to worry. Idk to me that works. Or she could idk get a new dealer? I’d ir near a red state drive there…
Nothing tough here, just go next. She doesn’t respect you. End of story.
This would be a deal breaker for me. She is hanging out alone with a dude she had a sexual relationship with. Big nope! How do you think she became a FWB to begin with? She was buying weed!
There should always be a platonic wall between a person and their exs. Also, a person in a relationship should never be alone with a former FWB. To so so is disrespecting the relationship.
If she wanted to cheat on you with her dealer, she wouldn’t need to make up a story about buying weed from him to do it. If she wants to cheat on you, I’m sure her drug dealer isn’t the only man alive willing to be party to that.
I had some great plugs back before legalization hit my state, I would not have given them up for a jealous boyfriend either and I’d have been offended by the request.
Go with her to pick up, start buying her weed, or find another good plug comparable on price/quality/convenience. But also maybe don’t date people you can’t trust?
Trust her until she shows you you can’t.
Only 4 months in? Just move on.
The issue id have is more the disrespect. She probably isn’t even doing anything with him if she’s telling you about going. But the fact that she knows that you know about their past, and that she even feels comfortable letting you know they keep in contact and meet up, is just crazy to me. Did she not consider that this might make you feel like shit and come off super sus? Add insult to injury if you’ve expressed you don’t like it and she still does. You deserve to have boundaries respected in a relationship
You haven’t got a girlfriend OP. You’ve got a problem. A very big problem. Walk away. Do yourself the biggest favour. Deal with the root cause and you won’t have to deal with ex FWB and/or dealers. If you don’t. This crap is going to keep coming up. Good luck.
My gut tells me the same thing OP.
However, you don’t really have a choice. Unless she has given you reason to not trust her, your default position should be to trust her, but pay attention. If there is something going on between them, it will surface eventually.
Its a delicate situation. When does paying attention turn into obcession. If you are like me you better error on the side of trusting or you’ll destroy any chances for a good relationship . I tend to awfullize everything. In my mind I can take the most simple and innocent behavior and turn it into a plot where my partner is planning to leave me and go to the Bahamas with her new French lover that is in fantastic shape, is a bettet lover than I am and most certainly is endowed with a significantly larger winky.
Play it safe. Unless something clear and obvious happens, assume the best. If you don’t you will rob yourself of the pleasure of enjoying one another.
Make an anonymous call to the cops and never tell a soul
If she was letting the dealer beat cheeks, its over my friend. Its not your girl, its just your turn.