TALKS ABOUT SA !!! ❗️❗️
I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over a year now and everything seemed to be going good. We have a great life together and our sex life is also really good. 7 months ago I got r@ped multiple times by a old man this effected me, mentally and physically, so badly. This wasn’t my first time, I got sa by a guy i hanging out with at the time, he told me he was 15 and he had lied he was really 18, I was 13. I just had no idea what to do with my self after that day, just effected everything that I did. To this day I’ve found it extremely hard to find my way back into having sex with my boyfriend, getting over the first time at 13 to having it again and multiple times only 7 months ago throw me into a deep hole and I don’t know what to do. I’ve always struggled with having sex because of what happened when I was 13 but now it gotten so much worst.
I wasn’t gonna tell my boyfriend about it because I didn’t see any reason and I just thought I was gonna get on with it like I had done before but I physically couldn’t bring my self. About 4 months ago we had a massive argument about why I don’t wanna have sex anymore and how he feels like I’m losing feelings for him cause I dont seem interested anymore and it just came out. I told him everything thing about what had happened, he clicked on that, that was why I was constantly at the police station and in the hospital. He really did seem sorry and upset about everything that I had told him, you could see the pain in his face just show.
It’s now nearly 8 months ago and I still don’t feel like I’ve healed from it and having sex is still a struggle. He says that he doesn’t get annoyed at me but I can tell on his face that he gets upset because can’t start stuff and don’t let him finish, but he knows the toll that is has taken on me. We have had many arguments about it and I just don’t know what to do. When we aren’t in the moment and just talking about it, he is extremely supportive and understands me and the struggle but when we are in the moment and I stop and talk about it, he gets upset and annoyed. I feel like he is losing all feelings for me and I just feel more sad and sad. I feel like this is my fault and I should just grow up about the whole thing and just get over it.
I need help ?
3 comments
if you are not already go to therapy.
also be open to him about it.
and of course he has now a huge conflict inside of him.. on the one side he wants to support you and put absolutely no pressure on but on the other side its just human to have these desires.
You need to tell him whats going on..once he understands he will be able to navigate this better
You may have hurt him by keeping it a secret and he might be feeling fairly useless atm. He might feel that you dont trust him.
I’m not judging you at all, btw. I’m a SA survivor too You do what you have to get through it, no judgement at all. Hang in there 💜