Some time ago, my girlfriend and I had the idea of a foursome with another couple. We talked a lot about it, including our boundaries and such. After a while, we found another couple on a dating app who shared a similar mindset and seemed like a good match. We started chatting, and it still appears to be a good fit. However, now many more questions are arising, and we would like to ask about your experiences.
We are happy to read about your experiences or maybe you could answer a few questions (no need of answering all of them)…
1. If the men don’t climax at the same time, what do the two who are no longer having sex do?
2. What did you do after everything was over? Did you cuddle or something else?
3. What would you do differently and the same during your first time?
4. Were there already many interactions between the couples the first time, or even partner swapping?
5. Was jealousy an issue afterwards?
6. How do you break the ice between the couples (physically as well)?
7. What did you do to get to know each other?
7 comments
Go out to dinner and get drinks a few days before the event. Make sure you are all friendly and comfortable with each other. If you have red flags, move on and find another couple.
1, are you expecting everyone to cum together? Some dudes are going to nut quickly, but can go a few more times. You might take a while to cum compared to him. Don’t worry about that.
2, go have drinks. Spank some asses and tell everyone how much fun you had. Enjoy the moment, don’t take things too far and don’t feel weird. You just had amazing sex.
3, I would make sure there are ground rules. Our first time, the other hubby was not too happy that I was fingering her ass while fucking her. Her ass was his territory and that was a boundary they had, I wasn’t aware of. Make sure you understand their boundaries and they understand yours.
4, try to meet at least once before the event.
5, jealousy is going to be an issue if you are insecure. My wife was a little insecure after I had the time of my life with our first couple. We filmed it, watched it back. She saw how into it I was and how much the other lady loved it, and she got a little jealous. I don’t add too much passion into it these days. I want my wife to feel wanted and enjoy it more than I do.
6, I like to smack the other guy on the ass and say some corny and cheesy statement. Make everyone laugh. Pour some drinks, and be the first to get naked or pull out your cock.
7, I like to go drinking with the husbands, be friendly and make sure they understand we are here to cum… not steal wives. Not catch feelings.
Feel free to ask any other questions! Good luck and keep us posted!
Go to the swingers subreddit for this one.
You really need to meet at least once before. Be very clear about boundaries with each person. If you’re new at this, you can start with each couple just having sex with their own partner, in the same room, not necessarily even in the same bed. Once you get comfortable, you can move on to more. That does not need to happen during the first session.
1. If the men don’t climax at the same time, what do the two who are no longer having sex do?
Join in with the other 2. The man can also keep eating out his women after he cums.
2. What did you do after everything was over? Did you cuddle or something else?
It kinda got awkward at the end, we all got dressed again, had a drink and went our separate ways.
3. What would you do differently and the same during your first time?
We knew that the 2 men didn’t want to fool around with each other, but we should have done some spit roasting, we men just didn’t really communicate or lock eyes at all.
We didn’t even consider any butt stuff, it’s just a hygiene issue when swapping.
4. Were there already many interactions between the couples the first time, or even partner swapping?
Yeah the girls played with and admired each other, and both men fucked and gave oral to both women. Both men got double blowjobs too.
5. Was jealousy an issue afterwards?
I don’t think so but the other guys penis was about 2 inches shorter than mine, and thinner and I think he was embarrassed. I was embarrassed too because I got too drunk and couldn’t get it up again after cumming once.
6. How do you break the ice between the couples (physically as well)?
Wine and weed and stripped to underwear then the girls started kissing each other and the men got blowjobs.
When the 2 girls were going at it it was super awkward between the guys.
7. What did you do to get to know each other?
We didn’t divulge names or phone numbers or where we were from. We didn’t speak again after the event.
1. If the men don’t climax at the same time, what do the two who are no longer having sex do?
Join in with the other 2. The man can also keep eating out his women after he cums.
2. What did you do after everything was over? Did you cuddle or something else?
It kinda got awkward at the end, we all got dressed again, had a drink and went our separate ways.
3. What would you do differently and the same during your first time?
We knew that the 2 men didn’t want to fool around with each other, but we should have done some spit roasting, we men just didn’t really communicate or lock eyes at all.
We didn’t even consider any butt stuff, it’s just a hygiene issue when swapping.
4. Were there already many interactions between the couples the first time, or even partner swapping?
Yeah the girls played with and admired each other, and both men fucked and gave oral to both women. Both men got double blowjobs too.
5. Was jealousy an issue afterwards?
I don’t think so but the other guys penis was about 2 inches shorter than mine, and thinner and I think he was embarrassed. I was embarrassed too because I got too drunk and couldn’t get it up again after cumming once.
6. How do you break the ice between the couples (physically as well)?
Wine and weed and stripped to underwear then the girls started kissing each other and the men got blowjobs.
When the 2 girls were going at it it was super awkward between the guys.
7. What did you do to get to know each other?
We didn’t divulge names or phone numbers or where we were from. We didn’t speak again after the event.
I generally think it’s best to do this in smaller steps, vs. experimenting by doing a soft-swap right off the bat.
Like, go to a club together and spend time dancing/flirting with other people. Or go to strip clubs and get lap dances. And then talk about how it all felt and what it brought up for each of you.
To me, just deciding “ok, guess we’re going to open up our relationship by sleeping with another couple” is like trying to drive a race car when you’ve barely gotten your license. Too much, too soon.
But to answer some of your questions:
1. If the men don’t climax at the same time, what do the two who are no longer having sex do?
You ask your partner if there’s anything they still would like. Sex shouldn’t end just because one of you climaxes if the other person doesn’t feel satisfied yet. Assuming you’re both satisfied, you can sit and watch the other couple and/or provide aftercare to the person you were sleeping with.
2. What did you do after everything was over? Did you cuddle or something else?
You and your partner should discuss what you want to do after. You’re not beholden to agree on something between all four of you unless all four of you buy in.
3. Was jealousy an issue afterwards?
One should *expect* this but it doesn’t have to be a barrier. Jealousy is natural but like any emotion, it can be managed and made less intense and therefore, less disruptive. Avoiding jealousy isn’t the goal. *Working through feelings with one another*, including jealousy, is what good couples do.
4. How do you break the ice between the couples (physically as well)?
Ha, a little liquid courage can help but you definitely don’t want anyone blackout drunk. And spending some social time with the couple first is important. *And knowing that anyone is allowed to bail* is really fundamental. People, especially in this situation, need to know that they have control and that if things don’t feel right, things stop immediately. If that rule isn’t in place, you’re not setting anyone up for success for this experience.
>1. If the men don’t climax at the same time, what do the two who are no longer having sex do?
The couple my wife and I played with, the other guy was on meds that made it difficult for him to finish. Which meant in practice he could really keep going forever. After I would finish with the other wife we would generally join in with the other two. We’d watch and join in when we wanted. He would alternate PIV with the girls. The girls would play with each other. I could still make out, give oral, grab a boob etc. Sometimes I’d get hard again for round two.
>2. What did you do after everything was over? Did you cuddle or something else?
We cuddled after playtime. Honestly it felt really nice. It would have been weird to just get dressed and pretend we weren’t just defiling each other. The after sex cuddling was weirdly some of my favorite parts.
>3. What would you do differently and the same during your first time?
Gosh, that first time was/is one of my hottest memories so it’s hard to say I’d change anything. If I had to pick I’d say that at the time my wife and I had agreed we’d only do PIV with each other. I’ll discuss why farther down, but we quickly realized it wasn’t an issue for us, so I wish we went all the way the first time.
>4. Were there already many interactions between the couples the first time, or even partner swapping?
We partner swapped the first time. My wife and I agreed we wouldn’t do PIV with the other partner the first time. When we started my wife actually stayed with me and the other wife for a few minutes, probably to make sure I was comfortable. (For whatever reason, I found out afterwards that the other 3 all thought I was going to back out even though I definitely wasn’t).
>5. Was jealousy an issue afterwards?
This was the reason my wife and I held off on PIV the first time. We wanted to see if there were any jealousy issues or anything else that might come up seeing the other with someone else. There wasn’t. Afterwards we decided it didn’t make sense that I could cum in the other girls mouth but not have PIV. We aren’t really jealous people anyway. We later even had experiences with the other couple in different rooms and in different combinations.
>6. How do you break the ice between the couples (physically as well)?
We connected on a website and shared a bit. We went to dinner with them and out for coffee afterwards once. The girls texted with each other frequently. Then they invited us out to a concert with them and we hooked up that night. On the way home from the concert we had the boundaries talk. Alcohol helped ease tensions a bit. We tried to go skinny dipping in their pool after the concert our first time but we all quickly agreed it was too cold.
>7. What did you do to get to know each other?
See above. We actually ended up being good friends with the other couple. We hang with them even if we couldn’t hook up.
I’d be happy to answer any other question you have about our experience.