How can I be more fun in bed? (F)

5 comments

1. *Fun* and *boring* are subjective and what matters more is finding partners that are compatible with your sexual needs and preferences, and who help you feel comfortable. The fact that you don’t enjoy being on top may be a dealbreaker to some and not others – personally, I’d find it limiting to exclude a bunch of potential positions but at the same time everyone has their boundaries.

   >I would like to have genuine orgasms when I have sex and that requires the guys to do a fair bit of hand/tongue work, which they don’t seem interested in.

   That’s a completely reasonable expectation and guys that aren’t interested in putting in the effort to meet your needs are not good partners for you. It has nothing to do with you being vanilla. There are several things in your post that many guys would be into – enthusiastic blowjobs, loud dirty talking, openness to threesomes – and who would happily accept the tradeoff of not having PIV with you on top.

   Finding compatible partners is obviously partly a numbers game, but you can also weed out incompatible partners early on if you communicate your needs/preferences and prioritize your own pleasure. There are plenty of guys that will be happy to put in the hand/tongue effort you need to have orgasms if you communicate early on how you get off, especially when it’s clear you’re willing to put in the effort to get them off. Good luck!

2. You haven’t explored with enough partners yet, fact is majority of guys suck at sex because they put in zero effort at improving at it since they dont care. Find a partner who enjoys being good at sex and satisfying their partner as opposed to themselves and you’ll be smooth sailing. Just a numbers game not a you problem dw.

3. It’s not evident in this post whether your partners are bored with the sex you give. Is it all in your head? Mysterious what leads you to ask. Are you subconsciously thinking that by being more “exciting”, less vanilla, men will start wanting to go down on you?

   Men who won’t go down on you are a waste of your time. Screen them out. They’re absolutely a waste of your time.

   Sure, there are tips for you to give head better. That’s a lesser thing than attitude and expressiveness. You already have those. You are eager to please, and you talk dirty and make noise. That puts you more pleasing than so many other women. Don’t just let men have to, invite them to. After they come, celebrate with them. You probably are already doing those things.

   I personally am content to be on top every time. I’d prefer the woman to ride me every now and then, for her pleasure (variety for her), and to feel her body being active. If she wanted to be on top frequently, that would be great too — I aim to please. But it’s fine with me if she’s never on top. When I’m going for my orgasm, I have to be on top. She’ll go for her orgasm (including by me going down), I’ll go for mine.

   Maybe, instead of riding a man, during foreplay give him bear hugs from the front and from behind.

4. I enjoy a woman on top (cowgirl or reverse cowgirl) because the view is hot. I love slapping her ass, kissing her and sucking on her nipples. That being said, probably the sexiest may be someone who knows how dirty talk. It can even be a simple narration of what’s happening, how it’s making her feel, and what she wants.

   You could introduce some toys to the situation for either your pleasure or both. It could be something as simple as asking them to put a nipple clamp on you or ultra sexy like a butt plug.

5. I personally can only finish when I’m riding on top which has made me love it. Especially right after he eats me out