Hi Daters!
Please help me critique my profile!!
I am not getting any likes at all. Had a few hinge matches but no messages or feedback on my answers to their prompts.
I am looking for a mature and stable guy to fall in love with, get married to, build a family and gave a great life…. not asking for too much right?
Ideally I am looking to attract someone who has built himself enough independently and wants to be a good partner, is open to falling in love and is at the stage of his life when he is ready to set roots and build a stable and fun life.
Have at it! Thanks in advance for your help.
EDIT: I have removed the profile link as I have received more than enough comments to give me direction to improve my profile.
Just wanted to thank you all for taking the time to comment! You have brought me one step closer to meeting my future honeybuns! (Don’t worry, will definitely not be putting this on the profile!)
41 comments
Pictures:
I’m not sure if it’s just compression issues, but your pictures all seem grainy/out of focus. You’re very pretty and none of them do you any justice. Do yourself a favor. Find a friend, offer to buy them lunch in exchange for them spending an afternoon trying on outfits and going around town taking high definition photos for you to use.
Bio:
The ‘balancing contrasts’ comes across as aggressive. Only guys going to swipe on you are cops who are into crossfit and baking on the side. The rest of your bio is fine but that part needs work because I read that section and all I see is “High maintenance and expects her partner to be okay with being shot at.”
Edit: For those confused by my use of ‘aggressive’, OP updated her profile. The original had a line about “Kevlar at work, baking at home.”
It’s a good profile overall. You’re attractive and come across and fun and intelligent.
As a white-collar worker, I would assume based on the kevlar vest thing that you don’t want to date me. If you want to date people who aren’t cops and security guards, maybe find a different way to phrase it? In general I like the “contrasts” framing, and the bit about liking both operas and dive bars works I think. It just comes across as overly specific.
You’re an excellent writer, and a gorgeous woman. I do think your photos have some sort of issue with the quality… Maybe it’s imgur though?
Your second prompt is maybe a touch intense… I’m an active nerdy type who loves to cook and I didn’t mind it, but it may be turning off some good potential partners.
Best of luck with your search!
You are gorgeous! The first picture is not your best. It’s an odd angle, the lighting isn’t flattering, it makes your face look different from the other photos, the background is awfully dull (which is a stark contrast to your other photos, which have more life and color), it’s grainy so feels catfish-y… I suggest replacing it entirely with a good quality full face photo that you get a friend to take for you with a slightly livelier backdrop.
The Kevlar vest thing is wild. Are you trying to date only cops? If not, that needs to go entirely. Otherwise I like the idea behind the prompt about balancing contrasts, but your examples are too specific. Open it up a bit more so you aren’t making people feel excluded unnecessarily–right now, even someone who fits your desired type of “can be both homey and tough and gritty and can enjoy both nice things and laid-back things” might feel like they don’t fit what you’re looking for.
Edit: I see that that prompt is referring more to your job/to you. That’s really interesting and very different. As written, the prompt reads like those are the qualities you want a guy to have. It’s way better if that is describing the kind of person you are, but you need to make that much clearer, in that case.
I’d still consider carefully the bit about the opera because (and I say this as a person who likes that kind of thing) it’s a bit of a niche cultural event associated with hoity-toity types. Some people who may not have had much experience with it may feel intimidated by that or ascribe some negative quality to you because of it, even if they are in actuality open to things like that and actually would enjoy that quality about you.
What is your search parameters set to for age? Profile comes off as someone who is looking for someone 40+.
Do you have to travel a lot internationally and maybe nationally? That could play a role.
I’m also 37! How is it out there for you? I do terrible on Hinge but get dozens of matches a week on Bumble. Not sure if that’s true for every location, so YMMV. 🙂
pic 2 and pic 3 are a STRONG 1-2 punch of “o shit a hottie” so i’d do them # 1 and #2, the rest are just for fun
Quite a few of your pics seem overly zoomed in or out of focus making it more challenging to get a sense of what you look like.
As for the bio I can’t put my finger on exactly why but I came away thinking you had a lot of wants that basically amounted to dreams of your future (potentially high maintenance). Personally as someone dating in their 30s I want someone who has a happy life as is and would like someone to enhance it not someone who needs someone else to provide it for them (has their shit together so to speak). Aside from that you’re a beautiful woman and I’m surprised you’re not having more luck.
Your pics seem out of focus. Aside from that you are pretty and come across as intelligent. Probably just a tough area to find good matches. I don’t see any reason why people wouldn’t want to communicate with you. I would say yes
Some one is pretty but your photos are the resolution of a potato. Also if you travel a lot for work internationally (stated in some comments) you state you want a family but your career doesn’t scream I want to be at home and raise my family so to speak.
As we are in times that gender roles are changing and adopting, many successful traditional men you are seeking don’t want to do the majority of children raising. Yes we contribute, but many of us have no desire to give up our careers and hobbies to be stay at home fathers.
Not to discourage you, but you are seeking a unicorn at 37. Traditional man to create a family with and stay local while mom/spouse travels the world for work. Typically people date for 3-4 years, get married, year 2 or 3 the first child comes around. That puts you at 42-43 for the first child so to speak.
You might have to change your filters to younger and filter out who wants what in that manner.
Good luck !
Pic2 of you in the white w the heels on would get an instant swipe right from me , I’d make that the primary
What do you bring to the table to attract that type of man, besides your looks?
Picture quality is very low (bad lighting, filters). Remove filters please.
43yo male here
Going to reiterate what others have said, you’re a very attractive woman but your pictures are terrible, have a friend with a good camera (or even hire someone) take better photos and that will almost certainly up your engagement rate
Instead of saying you’re funny or witty you actually make some jokes and you don’t wax on for hours about every requirement a man has to have…a real breath of fresh air
This is not a bad thing per se, but the whole let’s have impromptu water gun fights and build an empire together just sounds exhausting tbh and I say this as a professionally successful guy with a lot of energy.
Did you just create your profile? New profiles seem to get the most traction. Did you check your deal breakers settings? I realized I was running out of profiles to look through since I had such a strict distance requirement. Btw you are stunning 😊
I agree with other folks here about how a few of your pictures could be better. But honestly, most reasonable guys will be able to tell very quickly even from the pictures you already have that you’re very good looking.
I think your most powerful picture is the one of you standing in front of a classroom. It’ll communicate to guys looking at it that you’re smart and confident. I think because that picture is so effective in accomplishing that, I would make the rest of your profile more approachable.
Even if you LOVE the opera and love talking about economics (or whatever it was you said in one of your prompts), the initial goal should be to try to get more people writing you and interacting with your profile, and then you can weed them out as you see fit from there.
I’d also consider expanding your age filters for the same reason. It doesn’t mean that you have to follow up with these people, but let’s try to get some likes in the first place, and you can reject them from there!
Your picture with your sister is great because you look really pretty in it and it’s a fun and normal picture, and I love the second picture of you as well, as you come across as fun and elegant and sexy and it serves as a really good balance to the picture of you in front of the classroom.
But yeah, it’s true that some of your pictures could be better, but I don’t think that will move the needle much. Seeming as if you’re more approachable and casting a slightly wider net will probably be most helpful to you.
I’m a woman and I’ll let guys comment on the content. I just wanted to say that you’re gorgeous! I love the black&white print outfit you’re wearing in the holiday pic.
Miss…I am sure you are attractive based on that selfie photos but goodness none of your photos do you justice.
Redo them all and you will get plenty of matches. Good luck.
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If anything I’d say get a better quality and angle for your first picture. To me everything reads like you like to have a balance in life of serious and silly which is great. That’s a like for me.
And hello.
My critique is that you want someone who doesn’t want to stay home who also wants to stay home. You can’t be a business magnate and a good parent. You can’t travel all the time and have a stable life for children. And the energy to be a parent is extreme so as you are it gets harder.
So there is absolutely nothing wrong with the profile but there is with the expectation of reception. You’ll have both camps maybe interested but the unicorn in the venndiagram isn’t going to feel interested per se
I’m going to be really honest. You are putting a lot of effort into online dating. Online dating is really challenging. I’ve tried it. I dislike it. Since coming off the online dating apps. I hadn’t met as many people, but I have had more fulfilling dates. I am also not the only one who feels this way. I’m a 32 year old male. This is just my perspective and experience. I wish you luck.
From a guy who’s spent years on dating websites, your profile was actually nice to read. You know what you’re looking for, and you’re straight to the point. Best of luck in your search 😊😁
It’d be a rose from me!
Hmm. None of what I see should lead to no swipes. You should be getting some action. Maybe you’re stuck in the Hinge algorithm hell? A few years back it was known for that.
The first photo…maybe look for more better looking pics.
The first two photos.
Damn lady, you look super interesting!!
I am not going to comment on the profile as I loved everything about it, including the “intense” bits. I just wanted to say that, as a woman who shares the same energy, I have found every single one of my partners in the wild, not online. Good luck, beautiful!
Man, if someone as good looking as you isn’t getting any likes then I dunno what’s going with OLD anymore.
I think some pics that are less blurry/grainy would do wonders for you, especially with better lighting. Other than that I really can’t offer much else. Best of luck!
You’re beautiful and come across as capable of having it all on your own. But based on high energy you seem and how high energy you want your partner to be, you’ll have fewer bites on the dating app.
I think a lot of guys would be intimidated by your profile which is fine because you shouldn’t have to compromise on what you want.
I think the man you’re looking for is going to have so many options it’s going to be difficult for you to get commitment. You appear to be extremely well put together and have done well for yourself which almost makes current dating life not fair to you. I’m assuming you want a man just as or even more successful than you, which is likely a small %. You also look on the taller side which might knock the % of available men down further based on your preferences. I don’t think there is anything wrong with your profile. I just think what you want is a small % of men and there is a lot of competition for that small %. I sincerely wish you the best of luck on your journey!!
That’s not a dating app..I’m confused..
38M
The me in the wild pic isn’t the best lighting, same with the pic of you with the hat.
Selfie 503 with your friend is a good pic, keep it.
Your smile is a good is a good focal point, use it.
Your written parts are good, i like what you wrote. , you just have to find that one.
Pics are great, maybe guys are assuming you’re out of their league or assuming you’re just trying to advertise your OF site or something…
You are beautiful but your photos don’t capture it in its entirety. I can’t see your face properly. Try getting some updated pics where we can see your face, your smile, with you engaging more with the camera. All the best!
How do I access the profile to view??
33F keen to compare. 😁
Dude I always miss the links. Nearly same age, female, would have loved to see what people here considered gorgeous. You were complimented a ton!
DM me