People always disrespect me and make fun of me

8 comments

1. First of all, congrats on getting back out there. That’s a big step in a positive direction.

   If you’ve been socially isolated, it may take some time to get comfortable being around people again. You’re learning an entire new set of skills.

   The good news is that learning how to fit in socially is intuitive for most people. It happens naturally just by being in social settings. You can speed up the process by putting yourself in new social situations and making an effort to learn from feedback.

   Internally, remember that there will be ups and downs, but try not to get discouraged. It’s only a matter of time until you find yourself becoming much more comfortable in social situations.

2. Externally? Multiple ways, depending on your goal. You could pretend to take it easy. When they mock you, try to be witty like “I think I did it better” or something. While this might make it easier to connect in the broad group of people, you might also fake your feelings which leaves you sad, but it also might give you the chance to practice socializing and having a fake confidence, which maybe translates to real confidence some day. I did try to befriend my bullies but it wasn’t satisfying. The bullying stopped tho, at least their bullying.

   Then you could also ask them why they are doing that, ask them to explain why they moved that way, if it’s funny to them etc. Make them awkwardly explain why they mock you. It might shut them up and help your reputation. If they’re really shitty people they might just outright tell you in front of everyone that they find you weird. Still, it makes you sound more confident and might help you find friends with other people. Then just practice martial arts more and he’ll shut up for sure.

   Then you could just ignore them, which is most useful if you don’t really want to connect to anyone in the group. Then I would recommend you to search other groups which are easier to connect with.

   Internally? Know your worth. Continue to work on yourself and do things that make you feel good about yourself. Don’t be harsh on yourself and know that these people probably have things they struggle with themselves and resort to these low forms of making themselves better than others. They might not be evil, they probably just have shitty lives themselves and never learned to be satisfied with themselves.

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4. Kudos for having the desire to become social. Learning to deal with your current plight is fine, but you also need to prioritize actually developing social skills. Learn them, then practice relentlessly.

   After that, learn to stick up for yourself. Set boundaries, then confront people who violate them. It helps to learn how to fight (which it sounds like you’re already doing); once that skill is developed, it gives you enough genuine confidence to be able to enforce boundaries without, ironically, having to resort to violence.

5. Kudos for having the desire to become social. Learning to deal with your current plight is fine, but you also need to prioritize actually developing social skills. Learn them, then practice relentlessly.

   After that, learn to stick up for yourself. Set boundaries, then confront people who violate them. It helps to learn how to fight (which it sounds like you’re already doing); once that skill is developed, it gives you enough genuine confidence to be able to enforce boundaries without, ironically, having to resort to violence.

6. Beat their ass up and do the weird motion thingy afterward. Just kidding, as you grow older, you learn that people will try to take advantage and make fun of others to bring themselves up a level. You need to respect yourself and stand up for yourself. Respect is given when the other person realizes that they cannot just walk all over you. Tell the other person that you don’t like them mocking you and see if they will stop. If the other person is understanding, they would stop. If not, I would just ignore their mockery so that they don’t get a kick out of flustering you and eventually they will stop.

7. I think that most people mimicking others don’t necessarily mean it badly (at least in my experience, i have no idea what yours is like of course). I sometimes mimic my friends but its a mutual joke in that case because they also laugh at themselves and vice versa we can laugh at silly things that i do. So if anything, it’s because of their lack of social awareness that your relationship is not on that level that you can mock each other like that, not yours. You’re doing a great job and it will get easier, I promise. I also got out there after years of having been isolated and I am so happy now in my friendships and growing every day in my social skills.

8. Some things to consider:

   1. If somebody is mocking you because of those habits, politely point out that you would like them to stop. If they continue to troll / not care… just ignore them. You don’t get out of bed every day to please them :)!

   2. If you don’t like being mocked or laughed at for your weird body movements, genuinely make the conscious (but don’t stress yourself) effort to adjust to not do that movement or habit anymore. Have self respect; don’t over think it. Just relax and practice the self discipline to be the change you want to see

   3. Again, don’t over think but try to “proof read” your thoughts before speaking (don’t overthink by not taking too long to reply). If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything. Don’t be negative. And don’t jokingly tease somebody (in friendly way) until you can do it with clear intention of your spoken communication skills. Be nice, respectful, and treat others how you want to be treated. It goes both ways 🙂

   4. Again, you don’t get up in the morning to impress others. Be yourself. Make self changes for YOU that you want. Be kind.