I think I’m a narcissist. I think people are staring at me and people are watching every move and people care about every thing I do. Im so delusional Im so conscious of everything I do. And I’m so aware of people around me and every move they do. I feel like a stalker but I think im autstic and that makes me focus on other peoples so much. and I overthink what they do. Im extremely nice to people and I’m such a people pleaser. I keep thinking that people care about me so much and are staring when I know in reality nobody cares. How do I stop thinking that people are constantly staring.
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Ok, if you are a people pleaser you most likely are not a narcissist. I think you are confusing narcissism with being self-conscious. I think you are self-conscious and not a narcissist. Narcissists are full of themselves, lack empathy, are not people pleasers, they are all about themselves.
I think you are nicer, kinder, and more thoughtful than you think you are. I’d say you just need to not care so much what other people think. They aren’t all looking at you, and they don’t care about you in a good or bad way like you might think they are.
Good luck to you. Life is good and interesting.
Most people in Gen Z think they have an audience when they don’t. It’s just the media and culture we consume.
If you’re that worried about whether or not you’re a good person then you’re not a narcissist. Narcissists don’t even question it.
I often feel the same way, I think people stare at me or I’m scared that they might judge the way I walk or they judge everything I do, even random strangers on the street. For me I think this problem comes from my father, who used to just stare at me, for example when I did something bad as a kid, he didn’t scold me verbally, he would just stare at me. And also he judges me a lot, even when I’m doing the most random things he just watch me and probably judge me, making me feel constantly under pressure around him.
And he’s the narcissist who thinks is better than everyone else, you aren’t, you just care too much about others when in reality no one really care that much.
look up spotlight effect
All of this sounds to me very motivated by fear, would you say that’s accurate? If so, there’s a lot of ways to work through fear. A therapist can help. They can help you feel the fear in your body and soothe it, and help you figure out why it’s there, so you can process the old experiences and they wont hold so much power over you.
For example, I tend to people please when people remind me of situations where I’ve faced abuse if i dont anticipate their actions and make sure they are comfortable at all times. That comes from a lot of fear, that people will abuse me the way Ive been abused before. Its a survival thing. So right now in therapy i am working on learning how to find people i can trust to not abuse me, how to see red flags, and how to trust my gut and stand my ground if anyone tries anything.
I find the more i stand up for myself when people are cruel to me, the less hypervigilant i am like this, because if anyone tries anything, i know someone will stand up for me (myself) (metaphorically speaking anyway lol..im in a wheelchair, not going to literally stand up 😂). It makes me less afraid and less constantly protecting myself/on the defense, bc i can trust myself to defend myself when I need it.
Anyway the labels like narcissist and whatever dont really help much in my experience. It is usually more helpful to me at least to identify what i am feeling and why, let myself feel it, and figure out what to do about it so it holds less power over me.
Doing things that build confidence and inner strength can also help. I like empowering music, dance, dressing the way i want, and when i could do it, i found strength training and running really nice.
Also yeah I think the internet doesnt help much. Comment sections really fuel this idea that all eyes are one you, and everyone is hypercritical. Spending some time away from it all can help a lot. I like wandering around at night, stargazing, sitting in my garden, and skinny dipping at the creek lol (away from people). Feels like im just another temporary creature thats a part of the earth, no different than a squirrel or a sunflower
i also find this TEDtalk helpful https://youtu.be/veEQQ-N9xWU?si=q-qpF1YSjozHMg0b
So, therapy, if you’re not already there. Thought distortions of this level are not really a problem with having or lacking social skills.
Re: worrying about being Narc – if you can consider the positives and negatives of or, or acknowledge the possibility at all, then you probably aren’t. The narcissist would ask instead “why is everyone around me such a waste of time?”
The rest, legitimately, sounds like it’s founded in paranoia. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy might be of use: it’s largely about emotional regulation by way of examining the evidence of a situation and self-soothing.
Id you are worried about being a narcissist then you aren’t one.
I would recommend looking into OCD