How do you dare to argue with strangers in the US?

32 comments

1. I shoot them, just as you’ve imagined. Bow down or go down.

2. Very few interactions erupt into arguments. Very few arguments erupt into shootings. The vast majority of Americans don’t carry guns on their person. Something like 1-2% do regularly. It’s not common.

3. Very first thing, get off the news. You have to understand that the US doesn’t have news, it has propaganda. Driving outrage and reporting only negative things is how they make money. Things are nowhere close to what you imagine.

   There isn’t a single day where “Oh this person could be violent” crosses my mind. Generally, just be polite to people until they give you a reason not to. I still carry anyways, but it’s not like it’s a necessity.

   Anyways, glad to see you come, we’d be happy to have you.

4. We don’t let it get to an argument in the first place. As soon as there is a hint of disagreement in the air, we just pull one of the 9 guns we have holstered or hidden on our person and just start blasting. Mondays are the worst, you have to step over bodies every 10 feet just to get to your car.

5. I used to help European students get settled in the US professionally, if you are genuinely that concerned this will not be a fun or productive trip for you. Do people in your country immediately resort to violence when they’re angry?

   You should reconsider studying here if you genuinely think this will be an issue.

6. There’s a very big difference between “acting as a servant” and “not escalating or being an asshole”

   Deescalation is a thing, when you see a crazy person acting like an asshole in public, don’t interact with them, don’t confront them. Also, do y’all interact with strangers all the time over there? Outside of maybe a cashier or waiter, I don’t think I’ve actually had a personal interaction with a stranger in….weeks? Maybe a month? It’s not super common.

7. Just be normal and you’ll be alright

8. When you have an argument on that side of the pond, do you worry about someone physically attacking you?

9. As long as you’re not being physically aggressive or going out of your way to piss people off no ones going to get angry with you typically, and if you find yourself in an argument just say something like “hey sorry I didn’t mean to upset you” or “I think we just have a bit of a misunderstanding” the same type of thing you’d do in your own country. Americans aren’t aggressive/angry at all

10. Don’t start none, there won’t be none. 😉

11. Yes, your worries are irrational. Arguments turn into fights here just like everywhere and their source can usually be traced to the involvement of ego, alcohol, drugs, great disdain, etc.

12. >But I can’t help myself not imagining every interaction I would have or notice in my close proximity someone could just pull out a weapon and start shooting.

    This is right up there with people who are terrified of flying because of incredibly rare plane crashes but hop in a car without a second thought. Or grown adults sitting in their home dry and safe during a storm feeling genuine fear that the lightning is going to hurt them because they’re binge watching a YouTube channel dedicated to people being struck by lightning.

    >How do you interact with strangers?

    …normally?

    >What are your thoughts when interacting with someone you disagree with

    I mean I generally avoid unnecessary conflict with strangers, but that has less to do with guns than it does my lack of sincere concern and the fact that I might face criminal penalties if it escalates to a fight.

    Have you ever considered the possibility that the anxiety you’re feeling is being deliberately cultivated and fed by people who are not entirely honest?

13. >What do you do if someone gets angry?

    “Hey, fuck off”

    *Walk away*

    > But I can’t help myself not imagining every interaction I would have or notice in my close proximity someone could just pull out a weapon and start shooting.

    I have never seen anyone pull out a gun besides at the range or to display it. How many times have you been stabbed or punched in your country?

    >How do you interact with strangers? What are your thoughts when interacting with someone you disagree with (he jumped the queue or just behaves inappropriate)

    If I’m in the grocery store (7/11 doesn’t count) and someone is standing in my way, I politely ask if they can move, otherwise I don’t interact with strangers generally. Also, if someone jumps the que, I mentally write them off as a jerk and move on with my day.

    >Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely excited for the trip but my (most likely irrational) worries about physical well-being are kind of through the roof right now.

    There’s really no need. Don’t get involved in illegal drugs and don’t scream at people in traffic. Oh and don’t bribe the police if they pull you over.

14. I’ve yet to hear a shot fired in anger and I’ve been around for 30+ years. I also don’t belong to a criminal organization or rob peoples houses, business, or persons so it’s not been a major hazard I have to worry about. In general most people don’t resort to violence but why waste hit life getting into random arguments with strangers? That just seems like adding needless stress and perpetuating hostility for no reason.

15. What part of the US are you studying in? Different states have different gun laws.

    What university are you studying at? Most have policies against bringing guns and other weapons on campus.

    Also, few arguments turn violent and those that do are unlikely to end in a gun fight.

    Do you sincerely believe every argument ends in a gunfight in the US?

16. The odds of me interacting with strangers beyond general ‘existing among them’ is rare to begin with.

    > someone could just pull out a weapon and start shooting.

    *This is, statistically, not going to happen.* Depending on where you’re doing this, you very likely will never see *any* gun (strong candidate for an exception – if you’re observant you’ll probably notice one *holstered* by a cop at an airport, or if you’re in a high profile area i.e. Times Square or the Capitol District of D.C.)

    > If I were to be approached by anyone for any reason I’d feel like having to behave like a servant in order to absolutely avoid any possible escalation

    I mean, this feels a little extreme. If someone comes up and starts rambling politics, you would have every right to excuse yourself, most Americans would do the same. Being completely subservient in *every* interaction is going to be noticed and be seen as unusual.

    > If I were to hear people arguing, I’d try to leave the area.

    This isn’t the *worst* idea, depending on the argument. If it’s just two people discussing off to the side, there’s no need to leave. If one or more parties are getting unhinged (*or* you notice *other* people filming the altercation), *then* it would be right to leave, not because there’s a particular threat to you but there’s just no point in hanging around a spoiled brat’s breakdown.

    > What are your thoughts when interacting with someone you disagree with (he jumped the queue or just behaves inappropriate)

    When it comes to the former – it honestly happens so rarely most people *don’t* plan for this. You say can say excuse me, point out where the line is, and if they give you an idiotic answer, well…you put up with it and fantasize about throwing them off a cliff. Behaving inappropriately? Again, the odds are astronomically small, but you just walk away. There’s little to nothing you can do to help anyway.

    Now, as for someone you disagree with in general, rather than someone committing an aggreiving act? Like I started, I interact with people so infrequently to begin with it’s not a problem. The ones I *do* interact with, I have to for work, so I just smile, nod, and privately think about all the ways I hate them.

17. First, why would you argue with a stranger? Nobody’s going to shoot you because they feel a little bit slighted. If somebody cuts in line, you say “sorry, the end of the line is back there.”

18. You have realized your fear is irrational.

    It is.

    You will likely never see a firearm the entire time you are here. You almost certainly will not get in an argument with a stranger unless you yourself are super rude or aggressive.

    I have never seen anyone pull out a gun and I know people that actually concealed carry. We have millions of visitors from Europe every year and they never get shot or harmed in any way.

19. >Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely excited for the trip but my (most likely irrational) worries about physical well-being are kind of through the roof right now.

    Look at it this way, when I travel internationally I regularly have seemingly irrational concerns. No different than this. Its human nature, and isn’t irrational to feel this way in and of itself. It becomes irrational when you become unable to have, expect, or participate in normal person-to-person interactions because of the extreme nature of the irrationality.

20. The media did a number on you guys across the pond because this is such an odd concern 😂 just be normal

21. >What do you do if someone gets angry?

    You walk away or, at the very least, you don’t engage. People who go around looking for fights or arguments are emotionally immature and shouldn’t be entertained.

    >someone could just pull out a weapon and start shooting.

    Despite what every non-American on Reddit thinks, this isn’t really a thing. I’ve gone 40 years (37 in the US) without having a weapon drawn on me. Except for one time at a house party, a girl pulled out a kitchen knife and threatened me. But she was drunk and obviously going through some shit.

    >How do you interact with strangers?

    Politely and sparingly.

    >What are your thoughts when interacting with someone you disagree with

    I don’t. Not unless I know them well. If someone jumped the queue, I may politely say, “hey, the line forms over here.” I’ve never really had an issue when this has happened. Americans are typically pretty good at queuing. The only issue I’ve had is at an airport, waiting at Customs. Some guy tried to cut in front of me and I told him no. Then the young woman behind me accused me of being racist. I started to argue but figured a 40 year old white guy arguing with a 20 year old black woman who is accusing me of racism is a losing battle for me. I didn’t want to end up on Youtube.

22. I bounced for a friend’s redneck bar filled with tradesmen and bikers, along with regular Joe’s who worked in factories or on farms. I saw maybe 15 or 20 actual fistfights in 25 years, and no one ever pulled a gun or a knife. No one actually ever fought with me, but one guy nicknamed “Psycho” who was a 6’5″ pitbull tried once. I had traveling bands(that came to my friend’s bar)request me at other bars to take money at the door and watch their back. That’s the only time I saw a knife – an ex-NFL linebacker pulled a knife on a guy and did time for his trouble(he went to my high school 12 years after I did)

23. Let me ask you a few questions. If you were arguing with someone and you had a weapon, would you attempt to murder them? Do you think the people in your life would do so in that situation? Assuming the answer is no, what makes you think it would be different here? If the answer is yes, you have bigger problems to worry about.

24. This level of anxiety is disproportionate and extreme. There’s no validity in these fears. Please do not travel until you have your anxious thinking under better control. International travel requires you to be able to assess a situation clearly, and to respond to it calmly and rationally. Being so afraid (of something that would never actually happen) that you’d change your persona is… not a healthy or rational response.

25. 1- get off Reddit

    2- be a reasonable human. Most people are

    3- learn to walk away. 99% of arguments aren’t worth it and most altercations are about stupid shit

26. I am going to tell you something OP. I live in Texas. Big gun state here. Stereotypically, everyone here loves guns, owns dozens of them, and is eager to use them. In reality, I have never ever once in my life seen a gun used. I don’t own a gun, my friends do not own guns, never shot or seen one shot. I literally cannot tell you the last time I saw someone (excluding police obviously, they are armed) walking around with a gun. Obviously I cannot account for people doing concealed carry in this, but I think you are dramatically overestimating the likelihood that you will see or be involved in gun violence.

27. Do you not have violent crime in MyCountry? How do you avoid conflict?

    I’ll give you a tip, Don’t go around telling everyone your afraid of getting shot.

    Maybe get yourself to a shooting range and take some lessons.

    It’s a big beautiful country full of wonderful people.

28. Why? You planning on getting yourself ready to argue politics with Americans already? Lmao

29. >How do you dare to argue with strangers in the US?

    Why would I bother to argue with a stranger?

30. I’m really starting to feel like people in Europe are far more violent than in the US, and the only thing holding them back from mad-maxian levels of violence is the lack of guns. A stranger interacting with me has never once in my life caused me to feel subservient to them due to risk of violence.

31. This is one of the more delusional takes I’ve seen on here. If you’re going to be that scared while over here, you should reconsider coming to the U.S.

32. Viral videos of Karens freaking out, manchild meltdowns over masking, etc, go viral because they’re not typical. I don’t go to a bar or coffee shop expecting to defend my seat. And you probably aren’t going to be asked about politics or religion out of the blue.