“The worst she can say is no”, how it actually went for you?

28 comments

1. Woman at work reported me to HR for “making her uncomfortable” after I asked her to lunch once.

   Girl in college complained to our classmates that I was creepy after I asked her if I could take her to dinner.

   Nothing I said or did to these women was inappropriate. I don’t put myself out there anymore.

2. I don’t recall anyone saying no to dates, but that was because I was so fucking risk averse. There are times I should’ve said something and didn’t, not because I thought the girl would reject me but I just didn’t think it would work out before letting it happen.
   Will always wonder about those possibilities.

3. She said no and I said alright and we lived happily ever after

4. In middle school, I asked out my first crush. I was told that same advice: “worst she can do is say no.”

   She laughed in my face and then told her friends who made fun of me for getting turned down for a couple weeks.

   Kids are mean.

5. Never had one say a regular no, ive always gotten a pity sounding awww thats cute type of no lol

6. It’s so so much worse if she says yes first, lets you fall in love with her over tow years, and *then* says no.

7. Got ignored

8. Sometimes they said no, sometimes they said yes. Sometimes they made some excuse, which meant no. You win some, you lose some.

9. I’ve gotten:

   Eww, no.

   I don’t see you that way.

   No way in hell

   Kissing you would be gross.

   Really? You think I’d want to go out with you?

   I’m a pretty average guy, have impeccable hygiene, dress in clothes that fit, and I wasn’t overweight at the time. I now have 25-30 extra pounds. Getting older sucks.

10. The laughing, pointing and whispering behind my back were all worse than the no.

11. Not the worst she can say, also depends on how she says it. Plus, bigger factor is what she says to every friend she has about it for some reason.

12. She’s the front desk girl at one of the car dealerships I have a vending machine at. We hit it off rather well, she was my type, and she was nice. So I said fuck it, and asked her to lunch.

    She said, “that’s sweet, but I’m gonna pass”

    I said, “ah cool, have a great day”

    She said, “you too”

    And I went on my way.

13. There was this really cute blonde who I had in a couple college classes. She and I seemed to get along great and we studied one night at her place so I knew where she lived. I had a band concert and was feeling really confident and was convinced that I was looking really good in my tux. Went to her place and asked her out. She told me she had a boyfriend. Oops. Misread that one. Worked out great—but was my biggest swing and miss.

14. Seeing a screenshot of my message I just sent followed by a text saying

    “lol look what he said” 🤣🤮

    Now you’re probably wondering what disgusting thing did I say?

    “I had a lot of fun! Did you enjoy yourself?

    Had to put my phone down, placed my head in my hands and just let out a big sigh. That one fucked with me for awhile.

15. Luckily I just got a “No.”

    Actually I have a small collection of nos. Never anything awful, thank god. In fact, I’ve gotten far more verbal abuse when I turn women down than when they turn me down.

16. Technically the worst is “Ew!”

    Or “911? I need police now!”

17. So many results. Sometimes they say yes. Sometimes they say no. The worst thing usually is when you try to turn the no into a go as you create a situation where polite refusal is turned into embarrassing and public statement of refusal. Basically let the other person be the one to say no (“Don’t be afraid to ask”), but learn to take no as an answer. Don’t be the dating equivalent of a door to door salesman.

18. When I was in 6th or 7th grade, a friend of mine had a female acquaintance and I saw her at his birthday party at the skating rink. Couple days later, he offers to set me up with her. So he gets her on the phone and tells her that I think she’s gorgeous and want to talk to her. He hands me the phone and tells me she asked to talk to me! I’m elated! So I say “hi, whatshername” and she says “So you think I’m pretty, huh? Well I think you’re ugly.” I snapped the phone shut (flip phone) and gave it back to my friend. Pretended it didn’t bother me, but that comment affected my self image for years after that. I think that moment is at least partly to blame for me being a man whore in high school. I thought I wasn’t good looking enough to pull girls, so I took it up any time it was offered to me by any girl in nearly any place.

19. They can laugh. Then their friends can laugh. Then weeks later people you’ve never met can laugh at you on your way to 3rd period. There’s much worse things than “no”.

20. It wasn’t too bad. She was an introverted, quiet girl. It was only the heartbreak of getting rejected. Doesn’t matter, bachelor life has been good, I do things at my pace.

21. She said no and I moved on, and she was mad that I didn’t try harder. Okay.

22. Friends told me she played a song on guitar and sang about how ugly I am at a party.

    Suicide fuel

23. In high school I had been texting this girl and I thought she was kind of cute and I was kind of into her, so I asked her to hang out. She told me she had plans, so no big deal.

    The next day, her friend (who I had a huge crush on a year earlier) said the girl mentioned it to her and that it was really creepy and made her uncomfortable, so I should apologize.

24. One laughed, the other said yes then blocked me. That one made me feel like a real creep and i felt really bad after that

25. Worst I ever got was “he has a better chance of surviving a base jump without a parachute”. I didnt even ask her out one of my friends tried setting us up for homecoming not even at my request. Fast forward 7 years and she matched w me on tinder, NOT RECOGNIZING ME 💀the post-hs post-bacc glowup was real

26. It was worse when I was younger, kids can be mean.
    – reported to the teacher, who told me to go to a different area.
    – reported to parents and they for some reason talking to my parents. My parents said I didn’t do anything wrong so I dunno lol.
    – her friends getting together to tease me for even thinking she would say yes.
    – some dude that liked her trying to start a fight.
    – EW! No! (That one sucked)

    As I got older they became kinder about it. I even had a few say yes. I don’t think I have had any super negative reactions since about 18-20.

27. She said yes. After half a year, and loads of reciprocated talk about marriage, kids, and future stuff – she suddenly turned ‘no’ without explanation. When I gently pressured her to at least give me a reason, she went to the cops and reported me for assault – while I never layed a finger on her, we didn’t even do the deed cuz she wanted to save it till marriage and I was extremely respectful of that.

    A completely different, but alike experience: Years ago, probably 5/6 years ago, I was in the pub and saw a nice woman. I thought; What the hell. Grabbed my courage, walked up to her and asked if she was willing to give me her number. Instead of declining, she immediatly threw a fit, started talking very loudly about how I was harrassing her and that if I wouldn’t leave her be she’d report me. I immediatly left and never showed my face in that pub again.

    Suffice to say; I quit dating. I quit looking. I’ll manage on my own. Not willing to risk accusations like these no more.

28. I already told this once but when i was in my early 20s two girls about my same age started to fight over me in a club.

    I asked someone if she can dance with me and said “No… but you can dance with my friend next to me”. The other girls heard everything and went to the first one angry “No, i don’t. He asked you!!! You dance with him!!!” And they both escalated the argument grabbing each other like i was a punishment for the one who loses.