23M been diagnosed with a handul of typical things like ADHD, depression, anxiety, but I fear the list goes on with more undiagnosed. I fear for a diagnosis as currently my I’m experiencing success in my work life and am relatively high functioning(aside from social, in that regard im pretty awful) I have behaviors that I do not believe are very ‘standard’. They aren’t one offs things they are mostly things that I’ve dealt with for a since adolescencet. For example, when I hear someone coming in my direction, I typically prep myself for interaction. if I hear someone coming, I might freeze in place until they’re two steps around the corner, or grab equipment in a more audible way, to make a visual or auditorial impression on them. I do this with my room mates, family, friends, public.
Another “”thing”” sometimes I hear my name being called from far away. Sounds like a familiar voice, usually of someone who’d belong in the location. It’s usually happens until I decide “fk me that’s not real” after doing a quick check of my area. Earliest memory of this happening was like 6 or 7
The therapists throughout my life when I have said death is constantly on the brain it’s always been positive assurance that’s it’s okay and I’m fine, a few times a day I’ll just blank out having a ‘day dream’ I guess you can call it. Snap back to reality after a few seconds
I’m also pretty cynical, I feel as though people are always after me. I work hard and abide by rules like there’s a camera on me, sometimes I think cameras are just there when they absolutely aren’t!!!
The list goes on, I form a bond of love with the animals I eat and feel not just no remorse, but I find it funny and that makes me cautious. I lack conscious a lot of the time and have a great deal of touble seeing right and wrong, but I know what makes the people upset and I have a lot of trouble understanding WHY? Maybe it’s APD
The characters I identify with in media actively disapprove of their existence but still maintain relatively positive mindsets at all times.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk
Might delete this post if the results cause me pain
1 comment
Have you looked into schizophrenia or has your doctors ever mentioned that possibility? Google it, there’s a list of common factors, triggers, and treatment options. It can run in families but not always. There are lots of people with similar mild – moderate symptoms like yours, who get treatment and find partial or total relief from symptoms. You should really keep visiting with your doctors and therapists and see what they think, but it’s worth mentioning. Good luck friend!