How to ask my husband to lust after me?

7 comments

1. >I have told him before what I like and nothing changed.

   I think firstly there’s no reason why he will change. I mean if sexualities can be easily changed then why not just change yours to match him? And if that feels like it’s not possible and it’s hard wired then that may well be how he feels. You married him knowing what he’s like, so it’s not a shock he’s like that.

   Secondly I think one of the best approaches is to fantasize together and really try to get him to open up about all the sexy things he would like to do, what are all the things on his sex bucket list (fuckit list?) that he would like to explore and experiment with. As yeah that way you can hopefully find some things which would really turn him on and that might help with desire.

2. Are you sure that you communicated with him enough on what you like? Was it a “oh btw husband, I like this and that” or an actual “Please do this and that to me!! I love this so much and get so horny just thinking about it. I want you to fuck me like an animal and …” (you get my point lol).

   I have yet to meet a single person who is ACTUALLY completely vanilla. Seriously. I had lots of partners, lots of friends i talked to and even met a lot of people through my job that told me about it. Some THOUGHT they were vanilla but once they tested around with kinky stuff they were absolutely into that.

   Remember that if you never tried it, you will never know how good it feels. There is TOO many people who don’t get to experience great sex because they don’t even know how pleasurable it can be.

3. Esther Perel talks about how sex for women is kinda narcissistic bc women are turned on from feeling desired or someone expressing desire for them. Just to say, this feeling you’re wanting is normal.

4. Make him!!!

5. I am wondering if this is the same post as how do I make my wife open to anal sex.

   Are romcoms and romance novels poisoning the minds of people from realistic relationships? Just food for thought.

   In all seriousness the way you are likely going to have to do it. Is lust after him. Show him exactly what you want him to do for you. And talk to about it afterwards…. He doesn’t know what you mean by lusting after you. Cause he probably does in his own way.

6. Stop giving him what he wants til it’s reciprocated, I can’t get off unless my partner does, I was pretty vanilla when I met her, now im open to pretty much anything, that’s most of the fun, pleasing your partner or am I doing it wrong?

7. Sit him down and talk to him. Give him examples of role play. RP can really spice up your marriage if done right he may be afraid of it, or he may just not know how. Take the lead and tell a story while he has sex with you. See how he responds to it.