People who are quiet on their place just want to be left alone thinking, which is much more interesting than talking. Then, I go talk to them, breaking all that peace of mind and interesting thoughts and talk to them. It’s not fun at all.
How am I going to talk to anyone in the world if I don’t have their permission to talk to them? How is it good that I am going to take them off the bliss of being alone and calm to being bothered by someone saying stuff to them?
And I’m not even considering the possibility of that person being actually scared of you coming up to them to talk. Maybe they can think you’re a mugger, a thug, or an aggressive drug addict who may hurt you.
I wish people held a plaque like restaurants do (“open”/”closed”) except it’s like “I want someone to come talk to me”/”I don’t want anyone talking to me now”. Only then I would know I’m not bothering anyone by talking.
3 comments
Do you usually feel bothered when people initiate conversations with you?
This… my friend, is what overthinking looks like.
Humans are social animals, nobody is put off by an interesting conversation. I would argue that even introverts are able to appreciate a good talk with a person of character. We thrive off each other’s energy. You never know what the people around you are going through. The reason you feel that way is because in this age of social media, people are way too inwardly focused on themselves and their own interests. Sometimes people feel lonely, unappreciated, unseen e.t.c. And so, if they were to be treated like they were actually acknowledged as a human – that would literally be enough to make their day.
You’re just too in your head about things. If you said this 20 years ago people would’ve thought you were crazy because social interaction is the hallmark of the human experience. We literally evolved for this stuff.
I think the key is seeking out spaces that are designed for approaching people and chatting, like meet up groups, community events, etc.
I feel the same way you do. Personally a lot of people try to strike up conversation with me unexpectedly because i look unusual and sometimes in a way that makes people want to approach me, even if that is not my intent, and i take public transit/have to exist in public sometimes. I am usually uncomfortable with this because I am exhausted 24/7 and if im going to be social, i need to prepare for that. Unless it’s a superquick interaction like “cute hat!” “thanks!” “have a nice day!” “you too!”.
But if you go to like, a board game night, the expectation is you will interact with folks. There it’s totally okay to interact.