Do you think it is disrespectful to smash cake into your partner’s face during the cake cutting part of the ceremony if they are not on board with it and don’t want to do it. I tried to feed my husband cake nicely but he smashed it so hard up my nose that I had to go blow my nose afterwards. I did try to do it back to him out of retaliation but this experience has always bothered me. I’ve been married for many years and I feel like this should have been a warning sign of his lack of respect and consideration of my feelings that I initially brushed off as no big deal
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It’s childish, but some people see it as tradition. I wouldn’t do it.
That said, why in the hell are you revisiting it years later? To what end will you go if everyone here tells you it’s outrageously disrespectful? Has he been disrespectful in other ways during the term of your marriage, or is this singular event got you sideways?
I mean… It’s disrespectful to do ANYTHING to your spouse “if they are not on board with it and don’t want to do it,” and that goes doubly so at *your own wedding.*
You obviously know that, though, and if you haven’t brought it up to your husband, you should.
I think it’s the tackiest tradition, and honestly, it would illicit rage if my husband jammed cake up my nose, especially if I told him not to before the cake. I never understood why anyone would want to have this be a part of their love-filled ceremony.
I told my fiancé I find it very disrespectful and trashy. She agreed, but my so called shit head friend smashed chocolate cake in my ear afterwards. Like a light switch, he was cut out of my new life.
I read a post today where the bride is divorcing her husband because of the cake smash. She told him many times not to do it, but no, he had to be an ass, and she left the reception and went to go live with a friend.
I think there’s an element of having power over you, not to mention the non-acknowledgement of your embarrassment or humiliation. I would take it really hard if my feelings were disregarded that way. Don’t blame you for being unhappy.
My SIL straight up told my brother that if he smashed cake in her face she would tear up their marriage certificate.
For a lot of people, the wedding is most photographed day of your life. Who wants food on their face for that? And at least where I live, brides spend a lot of time and money getting their makeup done and would not want it ruined, especially by such childish, disrespectful behavior