My (m20) ex (f20) and I still have not officially reconciled but we’ve been working at it steadily this past week. Our communication has been amazing and very lovey-dovey. She is on a trip right now in her home country with her mother and sister. They are visiting family, hosting parties, and overall living lavishly. My ex jokingly brings up the idea of me paying for her ticket back home, which I jokingly declined, saying her mom makes more than enough money to cover it (has a high salary). My ex got quiet after that, then said she feels “pushed away” and “icky” that I didn’t agree to it. I continued to rationalize my point by saying that her mother had to have taken into account the tickets for the way back. She continued to be petty until she decided to end the conversation.
I stood my ground the entire time, while she tried to say that I knew her mother’s salary and was using it against her so I wouldn’t have to buy a ticket. I don’t understand how she thinks I’m willing to spend $300 on a ticket when her mom is supposed to do that, and I don’t understand the nerve she has to ask me that. We are not together and have not spoken on the important topics we need to, which we agreed to talk on when she returns. Despite this, if she had nobody to purchase her a ticket back then I would have. I just know that her mom is there to do so. She hung up at the end of the call saying to have fun and enjoy my life. She also mentioned in the call how me going to a concert with my single friends was upsetting to her, so I think that could’ve also contributed to her feelings.
She then texted me that us talking again was a mistake, and to take care of myself. She blocked me everywhere but WhatsApp. I’m perplexed that it came to this. I know she was drinking not long before our phone call, so that may have influenced her behavior, but I’m just so confused. I really love her and missed her wholly, but for her to undo a solid week of progress like this? Maybe I could have explained my reasoning more gently? I feel like I’m not in the wrong though. Maybe I misunderstood and figured her mom was paying but in reality she’d have to? I’m in a better financial situation than her, but her mom has solid finances. It’s been a day and she has not reached out. Not sure if I should. But I’m just sad about the whole thing.
TLDR: refused to purchase flight ticket home for my ex gf, she became distant and cold, hung up on me and blocked me everywhere.
31 comments
Sounds like she wanted a free trip back out of you, buddy. Sorry.
If you think someone is using you and manipulating you for a measly $300, why would you ever speak to them again?
If a partner or friend needed $300 to get home, I’d give it to them and sort out the details later. I wouldn’t want a friend or partner, who I couldn’t trust at least that far.
If I thought someone was manipulating me for $300, I wouldn’t be their partner or friend.
So she wants you to basically give her three hundred dollars and also doesn’t want you to be with your friends. And you’re not even officially dating? Dude wise up already.
Regardless of how loaded her mom is, I don’t see how any aspect of your ex flying out to visit her mom and fly back is any of your responsibility, especially if you two had no prior conversations or expectations of you being financially involved.
Even if she’s normally a very level-headed person and this is a temporary lapse in emotional maturity… do you really want to continue a relationship with someone who resolves interpersonal conflicts by shutting out all possible conversation?
Keep her as your ex my dude you’ll be happier.
What happened is that she’s an unreasonable person who wanted to slide $300 out of your pocket.
>we’ve been working at it steadily this past week
Yeah, because she was buttering you up to pay for her flight. When she realised it wasn’t working she gave up the act.
Block HER on WhatsApp, and everything else.
She’s your ex for a reason dawg, stop entertaining her
Her intentions really don’t seem genuine and self centred. Find a better lady. Drinking is not an excuse and just exposes her.
Maybe I missed it, but why can’t she just buy her own ticket?
She only cares about getting $300 from you. Now that she didn’t get it, she is willing to throw you and your progress away over. $300. You deserve better..
It sounds like your “ex” doesn’t think or see the relationship as over. It certainly doesn’t appear that you’re treating it as over either.
And you care about what your ex does…why?
Testing you. Testing your loyalty. Checkout Disorganized attachment or FA threads on reddit. I have a feeling you’re going to notice a theme.
if she contacts you again or calls, tell her “I’m having fun and a nice life” and hang up, she ain’t serious about anything and you should respect yourself (I’m happy about how you handled things so far).
Getting a vibe like this is some power play game. She is 20, and maybe she just wants to prove she can get him to send the money. Just to prove she can, or she can brag that her ex paid for her flight back so she could breakup breakup with him.
You two had broken up, and she went on a trip with family.. While there, you two have connected with perhaps getting back together, after she comes home.. More conversations still needed to make that happen. She is responsible for her holiday completely, it had nothing to do with you. Wow, I can’t believe she said all that to you.. drop her.. sorry, I know you didn’t want it to come to that, but seems pretty selfish, not a great start to get back together..
Am I a weird traveler or is it huge red flags she went on a family trip with no return plan? Are they vacationing indefinitely? Why wouldn’t she have a return flight already booked?
Regardless of that question, there’s no reason for you to pay her way.
Do what she did and block her and move on. You can bet she is living it up like a single woman in that country she is visiting.
GO NO CONTACT AND BLOCK HER EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get therapy. You don’t want to have a string of girlfriends that all they want is to use you!
SET BOUNDARIES! GOOD ON YOU TO SAY NO FOR THE 300$ TRIP.
Continue to set boundaries.
NOW WORK ON EXPECTATIONS AND NON-NEGOTIABLES!!!!!!
OP – Time to move on. You are young, enjoy your life. This drama isn’t worth it.
Did you ask why her mom didn’t buy the tickets for round trip? Sometimes asking the right question is part of being successful as a commicator. No idea what went wrong definitively but shame it didn’t work out in the end. Perhaps it was a good thing
Do not go back with your ex. DON’T. Keep broken up.
She’s an ex for a reason, you need to go no contact
She’s just being manipulative. She probably had a round trip ticket. Stay the course and use this time to really think about what you want. You’re young and have a lot of growing to do.
🚩🚩🚩dodged a bullet keep that one as an ex
She is using you and when she did not get her way she disrespected you and stonewalled you. Major warning signs in a relationship. You have no obligation to buy her ticket back. She shouldn’t have gone on a trip without a way home. Her mom went with her, her mom can bring her back. Glad you stood your ground. Sorry this is happening but it is a blessing to see that reuniting with her could just be a long road of this type of behavior.
It’s time to let this one go…
Better she block you now then later after you bought the ticket. Ending would have been the same except you still have $300 to spend on someone better then her.
>She blocked me everywhere but WhatsApp
Text her there: “can you please block me here, I’m trying to win batshit ex bingo”