Those of you who have dated an ex a second time, whether right after the break up or a long time later, how did it work out for you?

48 comments

  2. As much as I always liked the idea of getting back with my ex, we went out a couple times (the second time getting back together) and I realize she isn’t what I wanted, and reminded me of why we split up in the first place. Don’t need someone who doesn’t make time for me, or continually says my hobbies are a waste of time etc. Don’t need that negativity in my life.

  4. I haven’t and never will because I know exactly what would happen. It would be the same thing all over again. I think that’s how it is with most couples that get back together.

  6. I’d bet my years salary she has BPD.

    It wasn’t good. I care about her, and want to show her so she can find help, but she blocked me on everything when I left. Kinda sad. Read the symptoms and she hits everything, aside from physical self harm.

  7. We dated for another three years, moved across the country together, split up pretty amicably and I moved back home. We’re still good friends.

    It’s not all horror stories out there.

  8. Dated for 2.5 years. Ended up breaking up over boundaries with my ex wife. Dated a little here and there, and realized she was a unicorn as far as loyalty, warmth, and everything you’d want in a partner. Reinforced old boundaries and built new ones with ex wife and am giving it another shot.

  9. My wife and I split up and then divorced.

    We got back together a couple of years later and remarried.

  11. Didn’t talk for a year. Started dating again. She was as psychotic and possessive as she was before.

  12. She left me for someone else, don’t take them back please just move on and do your own thing

  13. I dated two women and got back with them multiple times… I even got engaged to my last one yet she cheated on me out of nowhere. People never change so keep that in mind, you can very rarely find that someone who eventually stops screwing up to pursue the relationship longer but she will never be that person. Nowadays I’m spending life with an amazing girl that I’ve been with for a year now and she puts them all to shame. Long story short… exes are a no-no.

  15. We ended up getting engaged and then she fucked ” just a friend ” on the way home from mailing the wedding invitations

  16. The thing I broke up with her over that she said she’d change didn’t change, go figure. At least not for long. So we broke up again after not even 2 more months cause I was just done with this shit.

  17. She broke up with me 3 times and deservedly so before I finally got my shit together. In a little over two months we’ll celebrate our 24 year wedding anniversary

  18. Honestly it’s been happier ever after since.

    Had about 5 months apart 7 years ago. Eventually started talking again and started dating again. Now we own a house together and have an almost 1yo and another one coming.

  20. I just got back from a date with my ex. We have tried to make it work multiple times. At the date, she said I didn’t give her everything she wanted in a partner, the attention, the love, I didn’t ask enough questions about her family, everything. I told her, I had matured from our past relationship but what I had to give her wasn’t enough and she said we should part ways. I’m a bit disappointed because I genuinely want it to work, I did giver her everything I could but she wanted more , which wasn’t me. I wished her all the best and dropped her off.

  21. Disaster. They just mistreat you even more. Find someone who appreciates you the first time around. Sprinkle sprinkle

  22. We finally got back after a year. She wasn’t interested in a relationship with me anymore! I felt she was distant and always asked for money! I didn’t ask many questions! She finally left me again. A few months after that, I found out she was already dating a guy when we broke up before! So she never left him when she came back to me. I fucking paid for their vacation out of the country too!! She is getting married to him in a couple of months! And I’m depressed and in therapy!

  23. As much as I missed our time together and cherish the history we have, I need to come to terms that I can’t fix what she’s going through. It’s been almost a decade since the last we were together again and perhaps she needed time for herself. But then I remembered that it takes two to build a bridge; for if one side gives up, the other cannot continue building on their behalf.

  26. Sharing my Ironic situation in which the first time I ended things because in a somewhat intoxicated state, she was really disrespectful and prior to this claimed that I wasn’t compromising and sacrificing more than she was. And then the second time (on the night before our anniversary) we had a fight due to her being passive aggressive about something I said and giving me the silent treatment. Her actions during and post fight (some days of nc) had led me to believe she was done so I had ended it thinking that’s what she wanted but it turns out that wasn’t the case. 2 months later and we still are separated but her passive aggressive texts still leave me unsure about the future. That being said I would take the stories on here overall with a grain of salt cause each relationship is different

  28. If the players and the game don’t change the rules and play will always lead to the same result. Win or lose in the existing game you all lost once before. Why buy a ticket, play or be in the game again?

  31. Dates a couple years. Broke up for a year ish without anything majorly wrong other than us wanting to grow into ourselves on our own. Got engaged last year and getting married next year! She’s the best. I am very lucky.

  32. A week of sex. There was a lot of sex, and probably the best sex I had with her. At the end of that week, I remembered why I broke up with her, and holy shit I’m glad I left.

  34. 5 months after she dumped me, she wanted to get back together. Everyone told me I was an idiot for doing it, but I wasn’t over her so I was all on board a chance to be with her again.

    We dated 2 months before she dumped me again. I eventually found out she cheated on me a few days before she dumped me.

  35. Had sex, immediately had a disagreement over what we were doing next and then realized nothing else about us was healthy for each other so we went our separate ways again.

  36. We were young and needed time apart to sort some shit out. Not infidelity/other people–more figuring out who we were as individuals. Sometimes you can’t do that within a relationship because, well, you’re not entirely an individual when you’re with another person. Especially when you’re young and haven’t completely figured out who you are yet.

    Anyway, shit got sorted and we got back together after several months apart. Been married 30 years.

  37. (M62, m.36yrs.)

    We’ll need to step into the Wayback Machine. My wife and I dated for three and a half years in the mid 1980s. I was a military officer and she worked for a foreign consulate.

    We had every red flag you can imagine attached to our relationship; interracial, international, different first languages, age gap, woman older, not much money (she was in debt), met on rebounds, families far away on opposite sides of the earth, irreconcilable careers, and a few more I didn’t list. (Her mother had warned her about America; “do whatever you like, but **DO NOT** get involved with a white guy. Fucked that up; didncha sweetheart?)

    We weren’t stupid; any rational person could see our relationship was doomed. It would be better to do the adult thing and break it off early so both of us could go on to find more “suitable” mates.

    And so we broke up several times after very responsible and solemn adultish conversations. Tears, goodbyes, and then she’d go back to her apartment or I’d go to mine. A few hours later she’d call sobbing, followed by me tearing through the city on my BMW R65 motorcycle to her place, where I’d make a mess. Again.

    Nothing to do but get married. Still married.

  38. It was like re-watching only season 8 of game of thrones. Just repeated the all the bad shit while all the good shit was only a distant memory.

  40. It wasn’t worth it at all. I don’t *regret* it because i’m happy with where i am today and that’s because of everything that i’ve been through, but i would’ve saved myself a lot of money and frustration if i had just stuck to my way and not gotten back with him.

  41. Well she did exactly the same things she did to make us break up the first time, annnnd we broke up again. The problem is that the sex was fire , I’m not talking about run of the mill “great sex” I’m talking anal every other week, I’m talking about no obligation BJs, were talking about public action and a solid 10/8 body to face ratio……shit I mite give her a 3rd shot after all, it’s been a few months mabie she fixed her spending problem.

  47. My ex is the reason I will never trust women ever again. I’m now convinced that every woman I meet is designed to trick me into being open and vulnerable so they can take my heart and suck out all of the emotions and inflict as much pain as humanly possible.

    I don’t think I’ll ever even be able to get close to anyone ever again. Trust is an illusion and you’re a fool for trusting anybody other than your closest friends you grew up with. I’m in a very cynical place rn if you can’t tell

  48. Luckily all amicable splits based on the other stories here. Long story short: same outcome as the first time. Just easier to move on after the second.

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