I can’t stand small , unintelligent and boring conversations that go in circles and lead to nothing. Like people that tell me what their kid did last night. Like I care? And the weather. The weather is just the weather. Or when people brag about their work outs? It’s exercise, no one cares. Ugh. Yet I always find myself wrapped up in one. What can I do to change this? Thanks.
8 comments
Small talk actually can take up a lot of energy to participate. So I get this.
Small talk is boring. Understandable but sometimes it is a way to connect with other people. We cant assume people are like us. I know we can find like minded people but it is not easy. Most of my friends,they werent like me. They didnt like what I like but that’s just how people are. I hope you will find someone like you.
Good weather we have today! Dont you think?
It is boring but ultimately it’s a bridge. With that said, you can take control of the frame. I’ve read somewhere that introverts like to go deep before they cover trivial things and vice versa for extroverts.
Small talk is supposed to lead to bigger conversations. Ask something open-ended.
You’ve already gotten some good advice but I’ll add my 2 cents.
Small talk can be something that is used to maintain relationships and start new ones.
If it’s someone you talk to regularly they often don’t have big exciting new stories to tell every time so the small talk fills those gaps while maintaining contact. It let’s the other person know they want to maintain a social relationship. In addition not everyone has the time or energy to put into a deep, thought provoking conversation all the time. Sometimes surface level conversations can fill the social needs without using excessive energy.
It’s also a great gateway for new people. You use small talk to try and find deeper interests to expand on.
It’s an extremely important social tool. Try to reframe it in a positive light and hopefully those conversations can evolve into deeper ones that you enjoy more. Keep an eye out for cues for things they find valuable and dive in deep
Small talk is a way to break the ice. It says more about people than you realize. Shows you what they care about, what kind of mood their in, if they’re optimistic or pessimistic. And it’s a way of not being alone in this world. If I just met you am I going to tell you all my deepest darkest secrets? More than likely not.
Maybe bring up something interesting to talk about then. They probably just don’t know what to discuss yet, especially if you just met. Like others have said, small talk is meant to build into something bigger. If you cant seem to make it past small talk, maybe yall just aren’t compatible, or they don’t really want to talk to begin with.