I feels feel terrible about this but I really need opinions on my gf’s friend and see if she’s interested at all so we can figure this out. So me and my girlfriend has been together for over 3 years and she has a friend she talks to on and off/ hangout with here and there ever since middle school. Me and her friend are always getting along with one another and are usually the ones talking to/sitting next to each other in social events. We always have a great time together when we see one another, I guess you could say we are good friends. We don’t usually talk outside of the social events, maybe here and there through text when we have plans coming up as a friend group. Well yesterday the company I work for was out at her house doing some work for her and she wanted me to call her and talk to her the whole time they were there doing their job. Once they had finished, We ended up staying on the phone over 6 hours talking about anything and everything about life, past relationships etc. I honestly enjoyed every minute we talked. I think I may have some feelings for her honestly and I feel like shit. Is it bad I have these feelings? It feels like we get along better than me and my current gf. Does it mean anything that she stayed on the phone to me that long or could she have just been bored? She was putting off sleeping to talk to me as she was on 3rd shift and didn’t have much sleep. She is also single, Thanks!
TLDR: Talked to my girlfriends friend on the phone for hours, feel shitty but I think I may have feelings for her. Trying to see if she’s interested so I can figure this out
4 comments
You are the worst. Yeah it’s bad you have feelings for your gf’s best friend since grade school! I would stop talking to your gfs bff.
the fact that you even let it get this far.. is vomit inducing.
It’s likely for most relationships you will come across temptation, crushes, attractions that leave you fantasising, wondering or even having feelings for about that person. It is then up to you to decide how to respond.
If you hypothetically chose to leave your current partner to explore with this new partner, there is a likely chance at some point in the future you will come across another crush or attraction. Will you leave every relationship for this?
In a healthy functional marriage or long term relationship the individual should immediately put distance between them and their crush, and reflect on what may be lacking in current relationship (if anything) and address how that can be brought in to your exisiting relationship. For example you state you enjoyed the long conversation with this person, getting to know one another, sharing things etc.
How can you bring this into your own relationship?
You’ve already crossed major relationship boundaries and are at the point of it being an emotional affair. Speaking on the phone to someone you feel attraction to for 6+ hours is extremely inappropriate and disloyal.
I will not advise you to leave your current relationship for this person, but I also think your partner deserves someone who she can rely on to be committed and loyal.
Loyalty is often easy in the first couple of years but at some points there may be times where commitment and loyalty becomes a choice. So what are you going to choose?
Love after the honeymoon phase is about choice. Love is hard work. You’ll always come across temptations. If you receive the slightest bit of flirting from your girlfriends friend and immediately consider leaving her over it, I think your relationship with your girlfriend is already over.