TL;DR – I’d like to know if my relationship’s age gap is acceptable because I am very afraid of harming my significant other.
Hi!
Since last july, me (just turned 19 a few days ago) and my s/o (currently 16.5 years) have been dating.
I wanted to ask you if you think our age gap is wrong or if she could be harmed by it, because I have been very anxious about it since our relationship started. I am horrified to think I could be harming her and honestly I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about it.
Information you might need: **We do not engage in any sexual activities**, I told her we should wait until she’s older than 18. We have a very healthy relationship, and there isn’t really any toxicity from any of us. We always solve our conflicts peacefully and in case we harm each other, we always apologise and make the neccesary changes. **Her parents fully know and approve** of our relationship, and we’ve been together for a while. There isn’t any power disbalance in our relationship either, at least not that i know of.
I have already heard the opinion of many people, including psychologists, and they all told me it’s fine unless I’m not actually “Doing” anything to her. However, I’m still afraid that this might be harmful in any way. **It’s legal where we both live in, but I care more about the possibility that she could be damaged.** So please, if you have some knowledge about this or know a professional, you would be of immense help to us if you answered. Many, many thanks in advance.
7 comments
Honestly I think you’re overthinking it, instead of asking strangers to tell you how she’s feeling just sit her down and have a nice long talk. From what it sounds like she should be very open towards communication within the relationship especially if it’s something that is bothering you.
I would not date someone who was 16 if I was 19, for a number of reasons including that you’re at very different phases in life- I assume she’s still in high school and you are not, etc, and that she’s still becoming a person. A teenager has a lot of self-exploration to do and can be very easily taken advantage of, so I would stay away. You’re going to struggle with maturity issues. Also, are you really ok waiting 2.5 years to be intimate?
You are both still in your teens and as long as you are not intimate I think it’s fine. I don’t see this age gap having any kind of power issue since you are still young
Reddit is a terrible place if you talk about age gaps in relationships. A girl Just told me 2 hours ago that a 24 – 19 year old afe gap isnt acceptable and I got downvoted.
The most important thing is happyness and that nobody abuses her/his partner in any way.
Thats all that Matters. Dont manipulate her in any way and if you have a healthy relationship its fine.
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tbh id just date an 18 yo instead
If you JUST turned 19, and she’s well on her way to turning 17, then there’s nothing to worry about. It would be different if you were closer to 20 and she was closer to 16.