What commonly-expressed experience on this sub can you not relate to?

37 comments

  1. Forever alone / I’m ugly and no one loves me – Yah, I’m not the best looking guy but I have decent social skills, interesting hobbies and decent personal hygiene and my social life back when I was single was great.

    Men are oppressed – Seriously? Not saying there aren’t men specific issues but the notion that we’re the oppressed minority is laughable.

  2. I’ve never met a self-proclaimed feminist who hates men, nor have I met any blue-haired women who are the least bit mean.

    Also, my experience, even when I lived in southern California is that anti-vegans are WAY more numerous and vocal and smug than vegans.

  3. Not this sub as much as Reddit in general, but as an adult male, I’ve never once been treated like a creep/predator for being with a kid family member in public (taking them to a playground or the store or whatever) or saying hi to a kid who talks to me, or smiling at someone’s baby, or anything like that.

    My experience has been that if you seem normal, people treat you as normal. Maybe I’ve been lucky or there are other factors that I’m not considering.

  4. Female SOs/relatives/friends looking down on me for crying, talking about insecurities, etc. Outside of being a young child and crying/having a meltdown over something stupid, ofc.

  6. “As soon as my SO does anything I feel is even slightly disrepectful, I burn the relationship to the ground and start over. I’m on my fifteenth marriage already and my wife knows that *I* am a *Man*, with a capital ‘M’. Your girlfriend was late to lunch? She’s toxic and you should leave her, too! It’s obvious from your single post here that there’s *nothing* good in her, at all, and never will be!”

    I mean, give me a break.

  8. Guys having trouble dating and sleeping around because of being short.

    I’m like 5’6″ and have never had any problems, even with online dating, because of my height. And neither have any of my short friends. I’ve even dated women who were way taller than me and who asked *me* out.

    But according to Reddit, if you’re under 6′ you may as well quit as you’re invisible to women.

  9. The guys who pop up in every thread about marriage tips to say it’s impossible to be happy in a marriage, that men and women can never get along and we just pretend to to procreate. Like yeah, you couldn’t figure it out so it’s impossible I guess. The rest of us are all lying. The bliss I feel waking up to my family is just a coping mechanism.

    Also in those body count threads, I don’t know if it’s reddit bias or I’m just in the minority of all men, but I’ve never wanted to be with a virgin. To me it sounds like hiring a plumber whos never seen a toilet before. I’m married so it doesn’t matter anymore anyway but like, man I would not want to have to re-teach someone all my weird shit.

  10. “How can I be more manly?” / “What makes you feel manly?”

    I have known I fit almost zero ‘traditional’ masculine stereotypes for basically my whole life. The majority are quasi-arbitrary nonsense, and the remainder are just basic aspects of being a good person which have nothing in particular to due to one’s genitals. I quickly learned that the sort of people who care deeply about this sort of crap are generally not smart enough to be worth interacting with anyway.

  11. People who are insecure about their looks and post their picture on here asking to be rated or if they should get surgery. I’ve posted a picture on here once asking what impression I gave because I had an upcoming interview, but never asking some strangers to rate or roast me

  12. 1. The idea that if you dare to speak to a woman in public, you will be called a creep and have the cops called you and everyone will point and laugh. I have never experienced anything like this.

    2. The idea that if you are vulnerable with a woman she will hate you. I can’t say that I’ve literally never experienced anything in this category but I have generally found that if your relationships involve some amount of emotional vulnerability from the beginning you’ll just filter out people who aren’t interested in that I guess?

    In both cases I wonder what the guy is doing to get themselves into that position consistently…

  14. I cannot relate to the crushing loneliness of a lot of the users in this sub. I’ve always been very introverted and shy, I’ve had long stretches of being single, and I’ve been in lots of situations where I’ve had to rebuild my social network from scratch (moves for work, moves for school, etc.), but I have simply not had the experience of not having a social life and being unable to change that. I might have to build it from scratch, but I always make it happen. Through some stroke of pure luck or perhaps I’m underselling my own charm, I’ve never had trouble making friends.

  15. The idea that men never get compliments is repeated over and over on this sub, and reddit in general, and it tends to leave me… confused. Like, do y’all just have super toxic friends/family/colleagues/partners? I’m not exactly drowning in compliments over here, but I feel I get a healthy amount of props on everything from personal accomplishments, to performance in the workplace, to making a good play in a video game, to getting a haircut.

    From a combination of asking questions and reading between the lines, I’ve come to conclude that what people must actually mean when they say this is more specifically that they never receive unsolicited compliments from random attractive women about their appearance.

    Someone want to help me out here? Am I just lucky with my social circle?

  16. I’ve actually gotten compliments and hugs from people not in my family. It doesn’t happen all the time, but when I’m social, it happens with some frequency.

  17. As a short guy, I don’t have as much trouble dating. I mean it’s a disadvantage but I guess I compensate somehow.

  18. Guys being hit on out of the blue by some gal, being pinched by a woman in a bar – nope

  19. Men saying they feel there’s pressure on them from society not to show their emotions. I don’t get it.

  20. I have never experienced my testicles (currently testicle, I lost one) sticking to my thighs.

  21. Feeling like being a man or being masculine is useless or undesirable.

    I keep hearing *about* this online or from various talking heads.

    It’s been my experience that a good healthy (emphasis on the healthy) dose of manliness has gone a long way toward getting respect from people. Even today.

    I keep hearing about this idea but I’ve never come across it irl.

    That said, pulling weird “Alpha male” aggressive behavior does make you an asshole. It has nothing to do with manliness and just reeks of insecurity.

  22. The idea that if you’re not part of this mythical top 20% of men you will never get laid.

    I’m mid af and I’m out there getting laid a decent amount. Most of my failures are very clear missteps where I fumbled. I think a lot of people just don’t want to admit they’re the problem

  24. I have male friends who I trust enough to discuss my feelings with, and who provide emotional support when needed. And I do the same for them. No guy I personally know has ever been ridiculed by their peers for being the same way.

  25. All this “societal pressure” people bitch about. I live in my own world and do my own thing, no idea what everyone’s on about.

  26. Professional sports and the obsession with players and their stats.

    It seems like a weird manifestation of an inferiority complex, living vicariously through an athletic stranger while wearing their uniform and discussing what they or their coach should’ve done differently.

    I get the unifying/social cohesion element of:

    “Our gladiatorial tribute shall trounce your own, Huzzah!”

    And all of that, but I’ve never really vibed with it, seems like a lot of fun though, I wish I understood the appeal.

  27. Most of the “men don’t cry” stuff. I was very much a crybaby as a child and teenager. And while that certainly was not good in any way shape or form for me, it was because I did too much not too little. I cried for extremely insignificant things or for things that did not matter.

    And while I was certainly somewhat shamed for it, it was not because of the crying itself, but because the reasons did not justify such a reaction, not even remotely close.

    I still cry a bit too much for my liking as an adult, though nowhere near as often as a child/teen. It can sometimes come off as “fake tears”, even if I do feel sad. If anything, I feel I should have been told “Men don’t cry” more often as a child rather than less lol

  29. Being treated like a creep for being around kids. I’ve volunteered with big brothers for over 15 years in different cities, coached a variety of youth sports, and I have two nephews and a niece. Not only do I regularly interact with kids in public, while doing so I often encounter other men doing that, but I’ve never seen a man get treated like a creep just because he’s with kids. It’s been my experience that people are nicer to men with kids.

    On Reddit you constantly see guys complaining about being treated like a perv when being around kids. Maybe you all should stop masturbating in trench coats.

  30. The idea that if you are not in the top 1% of male attractiveness that you will die cold and alone – and the idea coupled with it that women actually want gym-rats with money.

    Every time a guy complains about being lonely here it is “GO TO THE GYM AND GET MONEY”

    It’s trash advice to use as a blanket statement.

  31. “Men are oppressed in today’s society”

    Like whooookay, buddy. You go right along on that pity train.

  33. That men can’t be friends with women without thinking about fucking them.

    Zero desire to have sex with my friends.

  34. The ridiculous possessiveness and jealousy some guys bring into a relationship. I’m talking GPS location sharing, going through their girl’s phone, not letting them have male friendships, etc etc

    Like, yeah some people fucking cheat. Those people are scumbags who you don’t want in your life. No amount of paranoid anxiety is going to prevent someone who’s gonna act like an asshole from acting like an asshole. If you think that your girlfriend or wife is gonna suck someone else’s sick the second your back is turned *why are you even in that relationship?* There’s obviously no trust there to begin with. If I was that suspicious of someone I’d just break things off.

  35. you can’t have female friends… or the ol’ “women have a queue so you gotta do more to stand out bro!” crowd. “she can always reject you coz she has options” is such a hilarious line to me.

  37. I used to open up to my ex about everything and she was supportive.

    It horrified me when questions like “men why don’t you open up to your wives, girlfriends, etc” would receive all these negative responses along the lines of “I did and she lost respect for me. I did and she used it against me”

    I’ve never had that experience in my life. My relationship had its ups and downs and we couldn’t make it work eventually due to long distance (India and US). However, this being such a common experience for men made me count my blessings.

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