M26 F0

Hello I am 26 years old. I workout. Pretty fit for my age, I’m more of a home body I like to go out and drink though socially, I have real bad social anxiety at first because I over think when talking to someone like if I’m talking to fast or facial expressions are weird or am I breathing heavy or something idk I just overthink and idk what to ask a person really when getting to know them, my last couple relationships I have been abused in and I know a lot of men hate to admit that but I’d never lay my hand on a woman no matter how mad I got I’m really caring, I like being alone but I like having relationship benefits. But I guess everyone wants to be alone at some point, any advice ? It seems girls I match with on dating apps only talk a few days, or a few hours or messages and I guess another guy has got their attention or they use it at as a ego boost and really don’t want any guy on the app just the attention? Any help would be appreciate thank you