Sometimes i’ll try to talk to random people, not to make friends, but just to improve my social skills, get to know people, and have a simple conversation. But many times they will barely say anything and just give me a blank stare? If they do engage in a conversation they only say a few words and when I ask questions they answer with one word? Is this normal? I don’t have any friends and the only way I can get to know people is to talk to them for the first time and get to know them. This even happens with co workers. I’m not sure what to do

10 comments
  1. You ever been to a bar? Mfs love to talk in those joints.

    Edit: sorry, I feel like that didn’t come out right. For real though, like bars are good. Sometimes people just don’t want to talk. It happens. Maybe try seeing if a local nursing home will let you chat with the residents for a bit. I’m sure they would love someone to talk to and if you find the right resident you can practice the same conversation a couple times over

  2. The person who said go to a bar is correct. I myself am autistic, so it’s very hard to interact with people. I’m often told I’m very pretty… but being socially awkward pretty much negates that. I also have an anxiety disorder and am paranoid when talking to new people. Like… do they know I’m not normal?! At bars pretty much everyone is at least slightly inebriated, so I’ve noticed they’re less likely to notice I’m unusual. Also when I drink I’m waaaaay less anxious. Assuming you’re neurotypical (or ‘normal’, or at least pass for normal) you should get on just fine. Not sure where you’re at, but one of my fave bars here in the Midwest was always filled with other little weirdos. Some people didn’t even really drink, they came for the smoking area to chat. Now kind of legal here, though when it wasn’t, the bar didn’t really care. Not a smoker but loved the little communal area, always great conversations.

    Try wearing a cool shirt or something that might get you noticed, if that makes sense. You’d be surprised, I don’t even watch anime but somehow spent a long time talking to some dude once about anime because of his tattoos. I’m very tatted too, not sure if you have body mods but those can cause people to talk to you too. As far as shirts, somehow got into a long conversation once at 7-11 (of all places) with the cashier about Skyrim and/or Fallout. It was a while ago but pretty sure I was wearing something nerdy as usual which denoted I’m a gamer 🤭

    Also, don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. It sounds like you’re doing human interacting things right and everyone else is just weird. I personally often don’t respond the way I’d like because autism, anxiety etc. Then I mull over and feel super sad because I’m like… what if… friend? 😭 kind of ridiculous but also I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person that does this. Anyway, you’re doing great, hope this helps, and if it doesn’t, Redditors are pretty awesome so surely someone’s got some good advice. 🖤

  3. They are trying to figure out why the heck are you, a total stranger, talking to them. And especially when those questions you ask have nothing to do with the enviroment or activity they are in.

  4. Many people just don’t like to talk to others they don’t know, also really depends on where you live. I’ve noticed in cities it’s more common for people to keep to themselves and be less friendly towards strangers, something I’ve noticed since moving to one and visiting others.

    Don’t take it personally.

  5. They probably don’t really want to talk and don’t know how to get out of having a conversation.

  6. People do what you’re describing when they’re a bit weirded out. They’re trying to keep the interaction as brief as possible.

    The best thing to do is to make sure you’re in a setting where people want to socialize, and then to make sure you’re letting the conversation flow naturally.

  7. Also, if you want to talk in a bar, sit at the bar. That’s where the talking people go.

  8. It might also be worth asking if you’re a man talking to women? I only say that to say, sometimes I tend to be polite and can engage in conversation, but that depends on where I am if I’m approached. Like if I’m at a store and a man is shopping there, I might feel a bit more comfortable answering versus if some man approaches me and talks to me like at a gas station. You get me? It’s not being rude, it’s just me assessing if I feel safe to engage. So maybe it might be worth taking that into account too. And that doesn’t just go for men talking to women, it’s anybody. I’m just giving a specific example of when I personally may not engage with a stranger. Also remember times are a bit different and with kidnappings and all happening, people may just be more alert nowadays. It’s not always a personal thing is essentially what I’m trying to illustrate.

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