Hi!
So in short, I’m a female studying a male dominated degree (engineering) in a male dominated tech school.
By default, most of my classmates are male. I have never had a problem with this as I normally do not interact with them.
My issue is that this one guy goes out of his way to lecture me after class, at social events, at any school gatherings, etc. I find this infuriating and odd.
He will lecture me on whatever flaws he can. Whether it be my attendance, my punctuality, or anything he can get ahold of that’s not way too personal. It’s frustrating and confusing.
I guess I just don’t understand why he’d feel the need to single out and lecture his sole female classmate… am I missing something? Or being too sensitive? Im just incredibly confused…
How do I get this to stop?
9 comments
What your classmate is doing is probably not appropriate behavior. Your first option is to simply ask him to stop. If you’re uncomfortable doing that, you could instead let your professor know and see if they will do anything about it, probably telling him to stop. If it continues after he’s been asked to stop, it likely counts as harassment and you might be able to take it to whatever official at your college deals with such cases.
Probably was normalised in this family, to act like that towards women. Most likely he’s mimicking how his father interacted with his mother and/or his sisters.
Why are you putting up with this? Tell him to fuck off. I mean, you can put it nicely, if you want…
He wants to feel superior to you on the basis that he’s a man, and you’re a woman. It’s best to just ignore him. He’s being a misogynistic asshole.
He sounds like a ridiculous insufferable buffoon.
The next time he starts lecturing you as if you’re his daughter, just ask him: “Are we close?”
If he says yes, just calmly tell him that you don’t feel that’s the case. Point out that his behaviour is overly familiar and it makes you feel uncomfortable.
If he says no, request that he drop it. After all, you’re not close.
If he persists, don’t lose your cool. Just ask him: “We’re not friends or family. Why do you keep acting like we’re close?”
I hope this helps you reframe the situation – you’re there for an education, not to be talked down to. Keep your head held high.
Tell him “ur not my dad stop telling me what to do”
He’s a bully. He’s doing this to satisfy his own ego.
misogyny is rampant in those fields. I’m sorry, just stop talking to him or ignore him lol. Or cut him off with a complete change of subject lmfao
it could also be he sees you as weak and just wants to fuck with you, irrespective of your gender.
Or he thinks you stand out and he has formed a negative conception of you.
Either way, he seems like a prick and just out to demean you.
Tell him straight “no, don’t lecture me.” if he gets angry, which he shouldn’t, then report him. or if push comes to shove, then fight him, but only if he gets aggressive. don’t start it as he can use that against you.
If he is the only person doing this, then it’s more about him and not a general point of the entire class.
“I don’t value your opinion, so please don’t feel the need to keep giving me advice.”