I(19M) don’t enjoy smoking at all. I’ve never smoked cigarettes and never will. Whereas my girlfriend(18F) which I’ve been dating for a year already has been smoking for years, from early teens.
She decided to quit smoking yesterday. Of course, I was always telling her all this and that about this and she probably decided to quit because of me. And I’m so happy for her and for ourselves. I’m looking at her as my future wife and I definitely want to spend my life with her. And the idea that she might die of cancer in our forties because of her bad habits just makes me really sad.
I’m happy. So happy that I can’t even express my feelings. The love of my life will not be smoking anymore. I could just imagine tho. I’m literally crying thinking about this. And the thing that she does this for me is just so heartwarming. I truly love her. I have no one other than her.
The problem is I can’t communicate enough. I always think a lot before talking especially with my girlfriend as I don’t want to say something that doesn’t fit my character. This fact is really frustrating cause I can’t really support her enough right now. She told me she’s quiting this morning and I was like yea that’s so cool I’m so happy and all. But when she asked me to encourage her I literally couldn’t say anything valuable. I showed her the videos named what happens to ur body after quitting and stuff. But I don’t know if that is right step tho. Should I even talk about this and say I’m so happy about your milestones OR can she deal with this by herself and I shouldn’t talk about this matter just not to upset her or something. It feels like i shouldnt remind her that she’s on withdrawal. She is the most adorable cutie ever. I love her. And I want to be there for her. What can I do?
Tl;DR my gf is quitting and I can’t communicate enough to encourage her. I don’t know which is better: stay silent and say less dumb stuff cus I don’t smoke or express my feelings towards every milestone she makes.
3 comments
Everyone wants help in different ways. IMO, either you can propose different ways you’d like to help and see what she likes, or you can be up-front and ask her from the start. “I’m very happy to hear that you want to stop smoking, and I want to support you however I can. I have my own ideas of ways I’d like to help, but if you think of things that I can do, please let me know.”
With that in mind, some things you should consider:
* Quitting a years-long smoking habit can be a significant challenge, and she’s likely to have struggles, and possibly even relapses. Be prepared for that possibility.
* I’m glad to hear that you want to support her, but please keep in mind that your role is JUST as a supporter, as she’s the one going through this journey.
You literally just said everything in this post. Why not explain it to her the way you did to us?
Just don’t light a cigarette in her presence I don’t know what else is expected