Ladies, what are some hard to find qualities in your ideal partner?

26 comments

1. I am married now but I would say sobriety.

2. Honesty, i feel like every man is hiding something

3. Deep Apathy

4. Communication!!! I’d say I’m pretty good with being upfront about an issue if it’s bothering me. I’ll discuss it as soon as I can so it doesn’t simmer in my head and lead to resentment….but repeatedly partners have not given me the same consideration. They’ll wait until the issue bothers them, they resent me and treat me differently…meanwhile if they were honest I would’ve fixed the problem and we could all move on. Also going the extra mile. It’s very clear (even with my current partner) that they don’t think of me when I’m not around? Unless it’s like for holidays (I.e. Christmas gifts, birthday).

5. Empathy

6. Doesn’t want kids. Hates gender norms.

7. Emotional maturity and vulnerability.

8. Accepting me for who I am instead of wanting to change me.

9. I don’t think the qualities I want are particularly rare individually but hard to find in one person. I want a good communicator, who listens and remembers. I want someone thoughtful and thinks about how his actions will affect me. I want someone who enjoys giving pleasure as much as receiving it. I want a partner who is emotionally stable and never lashes out in anger. I want someone who isn’t afraid to show their emotions or afraid of intimacy.

   I found him, and I’m incredibly lucky. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s a great dancer.

10. Someone who isn’t addicted to porn.

11. Someone who is truthful,caring and honest and really down and willing to work on things

12. Doesn’t want kids, but isn’t a militant kid-hater.

13. The ability to admit when they’re wrong AND take actions to correct their mistake going forward.

    So many people either don’t have self awareness or just want to throw themselves a pity party.

14. A fella that is happy to cook and clean on occasion would be nice!

15. [removed]

16. Attention. I want my partner to simp for me just like I do for them.

17. The ability to look around the house, take note of what needs to be cleaned, and *do it without having to be asked*.

    It has to be the single most frustrating thing about partners (in my case, men) that I’ve ever experienced. For Christ’s SAKE it makes my blood BOIL.

    Why should I have to tell them what needs to be cleaned? Why does it default to me to delegate tasks? How do these particular men get through life being so incompetent?

    They use the bathroom every day. Several times a day. Yet they don’t notice that it’s dirty and needs to be cleaned?

    They open the fridge all day and don’t notice that the shelves are covered in crud and need to be wiped down?

    There’s so much dirt on the floor that it sticks to your feet and they don’t think to *sweep*? It takes 2 minutes tops.

    ARRRRGGGGG

    end rant

18. Empathetic and emotionally self aware. Honest and straightforward with their feelings and intentions. And who doesn’t want to have kids.

    I already found someone like that but have to let him go due to life so I’m hoping to find it again either with him again if fate permits or in another person.

19. Emotional maturity, intelligence, hard working, progressive, empathetic, not a fricken trumpie/republican, dog person (no cats), introvert, etc. I’m aware I’m super picky and I’ve also resigned myself to probably being alone forever, but I’d rather be alone than settle.

20. Confidence that isn’t fake or a game but doesn’t cross the line into insufferable arrogance. Also being discerning with who they date but not bitter, angry and rude about whatever types of people they’re not into.

21. Male here but I wanted to answer this one

    I want someone who wouldn’t make jokes bout using break up as a revenge and always joking bout leaving me. And no, she did really love me, but she loved joking bout that stuff cuz she loved the hopeless hurt “IDK how to react” rxn on my face.
    I want someone who wouldn’t brag about how hot the boys near her house is every freaking day and wouldn’t brag about how she found a new crush WHILE dating me.

    She said oh what I feel towards them is just physical attraction, you know I love you and only you.

    I want someone who wouldn’t make jokes bout using breakup as revenge and always joking bout leaving me. And no, she did love me, but she loved joking bout that stuff cuz she loved the hopeless hurt “IDK how to react” rxn on my face.
    I want someone who wouldn’t brag about how hot the boys near her house is every freaking day and wouldn’t brag about how she found a new crush WHILE dating me.

22. Good at communicating.
    Intelligent. Loves to read, good at writing.
    loves and appreciates music, extra bonus for for someone who plays a musical instrument and / or sings

    When I wrote those qualities down after my ex I thought for sure this person didn’t exist.

23. Loyalty, honesty, willingness to openly and directly communicate his needs.

24. A man who doesn’t drink

25. Trustworthiness. Ability to commit.

    Even when you believe for years that you can trust someone and that it will last forever, they take you by surprise.

26. The ability to put two and two together without hand holding.

    Being able to apologize. Have yet to meet a man capable of this actually lol