My GF and I had plans for the Labor Day weekend. But she sent me a picture of a positive COVID test this morning and said she can’t meet now. I felt sorry and was understanding as any reasonable person would be. When she sends me pictures I save them to a folder on my phone. And I instinctively saved this one too but when I saw it in the folder, it showed it was taken on September 30, 2022.
We’ve dated for 6 months. I’m crushed.
There would be no reason for this time stamp to be wrong, would there? Every other picture she’s sent me has a reasonable date as I’d expect.
Update- I talked to her. She said the test she took this time and it had a faint line so she used the old picture from when she had COVID the first time which has a more distinct darker line. It feels like an unusual story. I’ll have to figure out how I feel about this.
We’re adults in our late 40’s and have a great connection and sex life. I don’t think she’s going out and banging other dudes. I think she made a dumb decision to lie when she could have just told the truth. She is very busy with work and may be catching up on work. Or a friend may have proposed something fun and she wants to go do that. I’d be fine with either- we didn’t have special plans for the weekend. It’s the lie that I’m going struggle to deal with.
38 comments
Confront her bro, she might go out with another dude instead of you.
“You could have just said ‘No’ instead of lying about having Covid.”
Ask her why she lied and see what happened?
You got sucker punched dog. She got a lot of explaining to do. I’m thinking she had her own Labor Day plans and you weren’t invited.
Sorry dog, that’s just how I see it. Maybe she tries to explain to you, sure hope so.
She fuckin her new mana
She’s definitely lying and got better plans, but keep making excuses for this behavior and please update when you catch on to her shady ways
Her excuse makes no sense. She doesn’t need to send a picture at all. She could just say I have covid. The picture is fake. You know it is. Why would she send a fake picture if she could just say I have covid? Because if it’s a lie the picture makes it seem true. You won’t question it if you see the picture. But if it was true it would never cross her mind that you would question it. This is the behavior of someone guilty.
Do you know WHY she would lie?
If she didn’t immediately offer up a photo of the lighter lined test when you confronted her (because if she took it that same day then she has it… Clearly…) Then she’s full of it. I mean I’m super COVID conscious and I could see wanting to show a darker line to some of my naysayer family. But would just send a text message saying so, not a fake old picture. And in some alternate world where I did decide to do that, I’d immediately send a photo of the actual test from today. This is a bizarre lie and second lie IMO. Not cool.
Liars tend to elaborate to make their lies seem more believable, Op. That’s why she sent you the positive Covid test. I mean, think about it.
Her: Aww! I have covid and cannot see you!
You: I’m so sorry! How are you feeling? Can I drop off some food or some medicine?
Her: No! No, no! Here’s a picture of my positive Covid test! See?! See?! I have covid!
You:….
*Specifically, liars perceive richness in detail as an indicator of truthfulness (9, 10) and are thus motivated to provide many details to make an impression of honesty (7, 11). On the other hand, the provision of details also puts liars at risk, as the truthfulness of the details provided can be checked*
Read more here
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00056/full
How well do you actually know her?
You could easily be the other dude she is banging.
she’s lying do with that what you will
Red flag.
I’ve read the comments here and I’m going to take a slightly different approach and look at it from her side.
I’m assuming you both were in long term relationships before this one, which means both of you come with your own baggage.
Maybe she does have Covid and she forgot to take a pic of test, sent you an old pic – not just a message- because she’s used to being gaslit before and wanted to make sure that she’s not interrogated even when she’s saying the truth?
Maybe she’s overwhelmed -as you said so yourself- but she’s too embarrassed to admit that she needs alone time? Many women do see it as being vulnerable to accept that we’re overwhelmed, and admitting it , even to loved ones, can be quite painful. Add a sprinkle of overthinking to this and it easily leads to a bunch of bad decisions
I don’t have an answer to what to do about this, but just a suggestion to not look at this in absolute terms of truth and lie, and that’ll make you handle the situation a bit more gently
Not only she’s a liar, but also not a very bright one.
If their was no reason to lie she wouldnt have, she lied because she was doing something behind your back she knew would jeaprodize the relationship and didnt expect to get caught. She isnt a trustworthy person and she isnt worth the energy of a relationship
I’m sorry, but at our age this is such a red flag. The fact that not only did she lie, but she also embellished the lie is ridiculous.
It’s absolutely so disrespectful if your intelligence and your relationship. Please stop making excuses. She’s not a teenager who got invited with a better plan. You’re only 6 months in. Please value yourself enough not to invest any more time. She’s shown you she doesn’t value you and you’re worth more than this.
Sounds exactly like what my exgf used to do. Turns out that she was lying most of the times I thought her story seemed off.
She even sent me a pic once to show me she was at home on the sofa. I hadn’t asked and wouldn’t have questioned it if she just said it, but I guess she felt the need to “prove it”. I remember thinking something about the exchange felt odd, but I didn’t even question her picture at the time.
Much, MUCH later on, after knowing she’d lied to me frequently, I was looking through past photos and came across that one. On a shelf in the background was a clock, which I know works because she’s sent me other pics from the same seat on the couch.
Of course the time on the clock was wrong by several hours, meaning it was taken a different day.
At this point, the relationship had fallen apart and we were trying to repair it. Or I was.
Point is, I wonder how many other insignificant things have occurred that you noticed were off, but didn’t bring it up because she might [overreact/threaten the relationship/threaten you/insult you/withhold affection/call out your insecurities/etc]
I’m not saying you should put your health at risk, but if the woman I loved had covid, I would at least plan to drop off chicken soup, some cold meds, snacks, and a paperback. If you offer and she’s resistant to you stopping by, personally it would put me in P.I. mode.
It’s tough to judge a stranger based on another stranger’s post, but her story feels dishonest to me.
She has the photo of the faded line to show you, right? The one she didn’t send?
Even if she didn’t do anything wrong other than lie, the fact that she’s the kind of person who lies to avoid a long explanation, or for convenience, means that she’s going to be exhausting to deal with, and you’re going to be constantly worrying about whether she’s cheating, and constantly feeling like you’re not sure what’s true.
My wife has done something similar calling into work sick with covid. We both had it but her line was real faint so she sent a picture of mine.
This situation isn’t specifically relevant to your deal, but I mention it just cause the idea of sending a picture of a different test came up pretty quickly and naturally and seemed like a no brainer to us
Maybe was a one time dumb action but if you catch her lying again that is her way to do her things and trust will be broke forever, if she is lying in her 40s, hard to see that changing.
You are both adults, not some 15 yo kids who are afraid to tell the truth to one another. Instead of saying “I don’t want to” or “I have other plans” she decided to lie to you. Not only that, she even went through the trouble of presenting fake proof. Proof you didn’t even ask for.
A healthy relationship has equality and respect. This woman has no respect for you and is willing to go to great lengths to not have to see you and even come up with a story so you can’t visit her either (covid, contagious).
It would surprise me if she is not seeing/banging other people. Get out of this relationship. If this (lying, making sure you can’t see each other) is already happening after 6 months, there is no future
🚩🚩🚩
Whose gonna tell him?
She’s a liar and she’ll lie about anything.
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude she doesn’t have Covid. Let her go.
>faint line so she used the old picture
Sounds pretty suspect to me. If it were faint, I’d probably zoom the hell in on it and/or change the lighting so it was reasonably clear there was a line there … not swap in some other picture.
>It’s the lie that I’m going struggle to deal with
Yep … well, how much do you trust her … and … how much of a lie was it … do you wan to dig further and find out, or … let it slide?
E.g. what if you play the swashbuckling hero, willing to risk all to come to her aid and comfort … maybe she’s home sick, or home alone self-isolating, because she got a positive result, … or … maybe you go to play that hero … and … she’s out on the town partying it up, or ran away with her best girlfriend for a ‘girls’ Labor Day road trip party’. So, “You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”
She’s lying and you caught her. This behavior is a slippery slope. If she can lie about something as simple as this, what else will she lie about?
She made a choice and it was NOT to spend her time with you and lie to you.
She got that Cockvid
She wanted to do something else and felt a lie was better than the truth. Then she lied again When you asked her for the truth. So now you know, she is a liar. Definitely som to keep an eye on.
A normal person would just say “hey I tested positive for COVID, sorry I can’t make it”
It’s the first lie you found out OP , I bet she’s been lying about other things but you just didn’t notice or have no reference to.
Dude. How do you know she isn’t going to lie again to you? Isn’t this a red flag that a 40 year old is lying to you?
You can’t be in your 40s and actually believing this shit.
Oh that update. My dear innocent child
You’re not her only boyfriend. She could only spend labor day with one of you, and the other one made a better offer.
Yeahhhhh so the excuse she gave for sending an old pic makes me feel like she thinks you’re the most gullible person alive. If the test was so faint, you still just take a photo of that test and say the line is faint but it’s there. Or more likely- you don’t even send a test photo in the first place. People that send test photos (at least not for when you actually need proof like missing work/school etc) are more likely to be trying to show “evidence” so you don’t think they’re lying- because they’re lying.