What have you unlearned about women?

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1. Growing up, girls were always put on a pedestal. Constantly told that they’re smarter and more mature than boys.

   That we must respect them at all times and open doors for them.

   Fast forward, and it turns out that they’re just as stupid and nasty as we are…. sometimes even more so.

2. That they’re nice and fragile . Lol these are some cold hearted broken bitches

3. Technically it’s not about women themselves, but myself pertaining to women: being a teen, I was a sadsack who expected emotional reciprocation in a very unrealistic way. Have worked on that heavily

4. That believe it or not, they want sex just as bad as we do.

5. Females in their 20s were a fun and confusing crowd. Having befriended many, I aged into my 30s with them. I thought I understood women in their 20s.

   Now I have new female friends in their 20s and I realize my other friends just aged with me and I don’t get 20s ladies very much at all.

6. the easy you are the harder they become – the harder you are the easy they become

7. That you always must be better than them at everything.

   Life is a lot better if you don’t see everything as a perpetual competition against half the population.

   There’s no shame in being worse at some stuff than other people, you’re also going to be better at other stuff than they are.

   It really doesn’t mean anything. It takes all kinds to keep society moving.

8. Not all women are abusive monsters

9. As doomed as the rest of us.

10. That you need to be afraid of them.

    You don’t have to be so wary of women that you never speak to them.

    Just have to know how to pick your battles and leave a situation.

11. That they care much about dick size.

    I used to think it was really important to them because of porn and general media/culture.

    But after speaking/listening to women online, I’ve learnt that it’s way down at the bottom of the list in terms of importance. And for most, most of them feel good, but huge ones kinda hurt and don’t feel any better, and tiny ones don’t hurt but don’t feel the best either.

12. That women are innately more empathetic, kind, nurturing, or intuitive than men. A lot of women are just as fucked up as any man.

13. The opposite of 99% of people here, aparently.

    Social media bombard us everyday with videos showing women being stupid or straight up evil. When someone ask questions here, people just shit on women all day long and claim how superficial or money hungry they are. When I was 12 I was an awkward child with no many female friends, so, for a while, this retoric really resonated with me. It made me feel validated in my loneliness.

    Then I grew the fuck up. Women are the same as men. Some of them are evil, some of them are good. Once you realize that and start seeing them as human, everything in life becomes easier.

14. Here is one I talked about with some classmates years ago in college.

    Being a kid in the 80s/90s, we had a lot of tv shows with black cast members, some completely black. Cosby, Fresh Prince, Family Matters, a Different World, 227, Sister Sister, Moesha, Living Single, etc etc. Which were also not really seen as “black tv” or something seperate in the same way as it is sometimes today. It was just presented to us white kids in the midwest as another show on tv with a family or friend group. And while I think the exposure to other races/cultures even on tv (there was litearlly no black ppl in my home town, just white and indigenous) was one of the big things that kept me from being a racist pos like the rest of my family, it also imparted on me one racist thing. That all black women are strong, resiliant and can overcome anything in their way, no matter what.

    I had a hard af time, for years, accepting a black, female character being vulnerable or weak in any way. It would just completely take me out of the story because in my mind, they were the strongest people on earth. Luckily, between tv and friendships I made over the years, I eventually was able to see them as being just as failable as everyone else a normal thing. But there was no way I could have watched and appreciated a show like Insecure 20 years ago and taken it seriously. Insecure , btw, is one of my top 10 shows. If you haven’t watched it yet, do so. It’s on Max.

15. I used to have this mentality where I thought every single one of them would cheat. I’m starting to discover that that’s not the case.

16. Early in life I learned that women will smile because they are being nice (Not that they like you). Within the last 10 years or so I have unlearned this as I have learned that they also preemptively smile to diffuse potential unstable guys from hurting them.

17. that they are all mature .

18. That they’re all clean and hygienic

19. Hard to tell. I don’t think I ever really had any rigid view of them. That is to say, I don’t see them as a monolith and approach them on case by case basis.

20. Trust begets trust. I knew this about people generally, but felt that with women i couldn’t be vulnerable. Turns out being vulnerable was exactly what i needed to do and it worked out for me

21. Turns out they’re just as perverted and kinky as us.

22. That they are more romantic than men. They are not!

23. Periods make them mean/monsters. My fiance just gets really sad and in a lot of pain. The stereotype was always blown way out of proportion.

24. That if they are fair and grounded – then as long as you provide them with reliable and holistic security/**safety**, then you’ve more or less given them the main thing they deeply crave and want. Conversely, if they don’t feel safe with you then you’ll never have their love or affection wholly, maybe partially but not fully

25. Partner is a great word. Took a while to realize I wasn’t the boyfriend and she wasn’t the girlfriend. We could be partners against life. Share rent, share groceries, support each other emotionally and be proud and happy for their accomplishments. Too many years wasted on small women trying to be taken care of “cuz thats how it goes”. Fuck that.

    Find a partner; an emotionally mature woman that loves you and you love her back and everything is amazing.

26. In my youth I believed that women were more cooperative, while men were more competitive.

    As I grew up, I observed that while a group of men will *generally* establish a pecking order and accept their places in it, a group of women will *generally* constantly maneuver for dominance in the group.

27. Learned maybe way too late in life that women are not as clean and sanitary as I used to think. Only when you start working in a predominantly female environment do you realize that they’re dirty as fuck. Kitchen table? Always covered in small pieces of food, bread crumbs and smudges. Toilet seat? You’re lucky if there’s only hair, and no poop, pee or period blood. Doesn’t make sense to me that they always try to look and smell good, but are such little piggies when it comes to cleaning up after themselves.

28. That women are generally honest and forthright about their motives and what they say is generally the same. Basically I had to unlearn to stop attributing things to their nature that just isn’t true (and in some cases very far from it).

29. they are as confused and broken as we are man.

    shits all the same

30. That they are all nice

31. That just because they look sweet and innocent, doesn’t mean they actually are.

32. I had to unlearn thinking they had equal opportunity. They don’t whether we want to be real or not in the world they’re actually favoring the men even if they don’t necessarily treat them better . Even the average car is made / built for the average man .

33. Used to try too hard. I thought my quirks and fears were dealbreakers to them. Turns out women are often more open-minded than you think, and you just need to be yourself.

34. That women are naturally warm, fragile and caring. I’ve had a lot of mean things said to me in my life but hands down the worst things ever yelled at me came from women. They read you on a different emotional level and use it to throw you into the ground.

35. That women are inherently good, kind, or competent.

    Not that none of them are, but they have just as many evil and worthless members as we do. They’re just covered for more and punished less by society.

36. It’s ok to make fun of them when they’re being silly. They like you to join. Being mister serious all the time can be a real bore. So, be silly, be an idiot, and always make them laugh.

    Because mister serious gets five dates and must silly gets to laugh every day

37. I unlearned the stupid mindset that certain skills are afforded to me, and not to her, because our genders predisposed it that way. Toxic bullshit I acquired from the men in my life. “She can’t do __because she’s a woman.”
    Watched women run circles around men in trades and skillsets that were supposed to be men only.

38. Women don’t hate fat guys. At least, appearance isn’t priority.

    Women care much more about if you can hold a conversation.

39. That women aren’t the complicated creatures we were hot-housed to believe, and we share the same fears and aspirations.

40. they’re not all out to control you; they struggle with communication and roles the same as we do, albeit in a different form.

41. That they are radically different to men in general. We are the same species after all.