So I’ve (32f) been seeing a guy (33m) for about 3 months and we’ve not had the exclusivity talk. We’ve only had 5 dates as we live in different cities about an hour away.
Had sex on second date, was great, and I slept over at his place every date since.
Problem is that it has been pretty low effort on his end. He never offered to visit me. It’s always me visiting him. Never plans anything. Though he does pay for drinks or lunch, I’ve always gotten dinner for us. I felt that I’ve spent lots visiting him (fuel, public transports like train and taxi and food) and he barely offers anything. I drive and he doesn’t too.
Also he’s been hot and cold. Conversations and texts have been so dry. I did notice he’s gotten better recently with daily texts. Prior to this he’d only text few times a week and communications are important for me.
Perhaps he sees me as FWB but we did do date stuff when we are together and the daily texts suggested that it’s more than that.. but who knows
I don’t think he has much career aspirations too while I work really hard to be where I am (earning more than him at the mo) and we are quite different in terms of lifestyle.
I think 5 dates is enough to know whether to continue dating or not? And as I don’t plan to visit him again, is it ok to end things over text? What should I say? We never had phone call as he never wanted to.
Thanks for reading
4 comments
It’s only been five dates. It’s okay to end things over text.
You two are in different cities, I think it’s understandable to do it over text. Just be candid and say that you don’t see the relationship working out. If you want to elaborate then just say its a difference in lifestyle and plans for the future.
Sounds like you’ve let him dictate the course of this situationship with little to no communication from you about your wants and needs.
Yeah, just text him that you have the feeling that things between you aren’t really going anywhere and you have decided to keep looking for a person who will show more emotional commitment.