We have been together for a total of 12 years (4 years married). He’s filing for divorce because he SAYS he was never happy with me, that he forced to stay with me and that he never wanted to marry me. He said these after I’ve found out that he started a relationship with someone he met here on Reddit. They’ve eventually met in person and already had slept together. I think part of it was because of my infertility but I just felt so betrayed. I feel like I don’t know how to start over on my own. I don’t know if I’ll ever find happiness again after being abandoned. I don’t know how to date because I’ve only been with my spouse since I was 20.
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I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I suggest checking out chumplady.com. It’s a good resource and fountain of support for people who have been cheated on.
Realize your worth. Go to therapy. Hang out with friends and family that love you. Don’t push jumping into another relationship, this I can not stress enough. Jumping back into the dating pool in your emotional and fragile state the relationship would not work out and you would be left wondering if it was you. It wasn’t.
Your spouse is just a shitty person and this shows his true colors. May I also suggest making a list like a bucket list of things a lot of single people don’t do for a variety of reasons. Go to dinner alone. Go on a cruise or vacation alone. Learn to make dinner for 1. I think you’re gonna be alright and best of luck to you and may soon you recognize how lucky you are to be rid of that POS.
Get tested right away.
Sorry you’re going through this. I’m going through a divorce from my wife right now, we’d been together 13 years. My circumstances are not exactly like yours, but I felt a lot of empathy reading your story. like your husband, my wife is now happily with someone else, and yeah, it feels absolutely awful, it’s by far the most painful experience I’ve ever dealt with.
But lately I’ve been feeling a little better. The biggest thing was getting my own place, it’s been a tremendously cleansing experience. The feeling of only being accountable to myself (on the days I don’t have my daughter anyway!) is very liberating and makes it a lot easier to look on the bright side. I’ve been trying to just focus on myself, reconnect with my values and priorities, explore hobbies, reinforce friendships. I’ve reached out to lots of people from the past, and the support they’ve provided has been invaluable. And of course therapy. It’s not linear, as grief or recovery never are, but I’m on a trajectory of feeling better, bit by bit.
I hope some of that is helpful to hear, you’ll be ok and eventually I’m sure you’ll feel like you’re lucky you’re not with him anymore. Good luck!