I (24f, bi) broke up with my ex in January 2022. It was about 2 weeks shy of 3 years together. It was a toxic mess and I have zero regrets about it. I don’t miss her.
I had a 4ish month fwb situation that I left because I moved across the country last November. We talked about being official, but my life was a mess, and I just left. It was by far the right decision (it would’ve never worked long term).
Now I’m back in my hometown and I’m lonely. I’ve always hated being by myself, but I have been to get myself sorted and straightened out as just a human. I have, I’m proud of myself, and I’m doing really well in 90% of my life.
Idk if it’s because I was ~18 the last time I was actively dating or what, but my tolerance is at zero. Like, my peace is never disturbed by these people, but I honestly feel like something is wrong with me. I cry heavy ass tears over the guy I left in another state. It hurts in a way that’s really unfamiliar to me. I don’t compare other people to him or anything. But even though I find people fun and interesting and genuinely nice, it just feels so…bad.
I want something that I can’t describe which is so unfair to any and everyone. That makes me want to quit because that’s shitty of me.
I haven’t been able to enjoy the good right in front of me for longer than an hour. If I’m with family or friends, that’s not an issue, so I don’t think it’s a mental health thing.
I just don’t know what to do or how to fix it? It’s not the quality of the people or the conversation or the food or the activity at hand. I don’t know what I’m doing and would like some advice or help because I don’t *want* to give up, but idk honestly.