I (31F) blocked my BF (M37) because he ignored me during the worst moment of my life after being distant for weeks?

I’ve been in a relationship for almost two years with my boyfriend — we are both in our 30’s. He’s the first man I have ever loved and opened up to in my adult life bc he made me feel so seen and safe. We have had some bad fights in the past but we have always worked through it. One of his best qualities was that he was always very loving and attentive towards me. We broke up earlier this year for three months because we had a bad argument about our future —- he could not give me a clear timeline for us to get married. I tend to retreat when I feel rejected. I broke up with him as soon as I sensed his hesitancy about marriage bc I know he wants to get married and have a family but I took his hesitancy as he didn’t want it with me. I did no contact with him for three months and went on other dates. He reached out to me and asked to try again and that this time asking for time for him to get his life together first before bringing up marriage topic again for us. I agree we bc I love him and he’s the first man I truly felt connected to. I wanted to believe that time would give him what he needed to get to that place of assurance for marriage.

But lately he’s been going through a rough patch with stress he hasn’t been very attentive and asked me for some space to work on getting his life together. He never specifically told me when. I was kinda hurt but agreed. I texted him once a week and he would respond but never ever returned my calls. I know for a fact he was hanging out with his friends and calling his family but his work stress was too much for him to communicate with me? I was confused with this new behavior. After I had called him twice in a row and saw he was online Whatsapp I send him a text about how I was so patient and understanding but the fact that he wouldn’t communicate about the stress in his life and problems with work didn’t bother me. It was the fact that you KNOW that I was anxious and worried about him but he never bothered acknowledge my geniune concern.

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Yesterday, I got bad news last night that there was a shooting at a wedding that my mother attended. My mother called me saying she was scared there was a shooter that shot two people and that she was hiding in the kitchen with a few people and barricaded the room. My mom is my whole WORLD and my boyfriend knew this as well. She told me if she doesn’t make it that she loves me and my sister. I cried,, panicked, then drove like hell to the wedding venue and found it blocked off. Luckily my mom was not hurt and most of the people at the wedding but I was shaken up because I heard there was two dead victims. I called my boyfriend three times after the incident to cry to him because I felt so broken. Instead he texted me to stop calling him and that he was with his friends. I texted him there was a shooting and my mom was an attendee but she was shaken up and so was I. At that moment he just said he was sorry and glad my mom was okay. He said he would text me tomorrow if I wanted to talk. At that moment…..I have never felt so disappointed and angry. I went OFF on him via text and called him out for failing to be a decent human being. The fact that someone I loved and thought that understood me thinks its okay to dodge my calls and say he’s with his friends when I am under such duress. I told him I never wanted to speak to him again and told him to never contact me ever again.

I’ve been crying all day from the shock of the shooting, the fact that my mom could have gotten killed, the two victims that died, and my boyfriend’s complete 360 indifference has been too much. I never ever want to see him again and I only wish he felt the same level of hurt and pain I do right now. I regret ever opening up to him and trusting that he would be there me as he always said he would be. Right now I just need to focus on my family and getting over the shock of everything but I hate him for not being here when I needed him.