I met this one friend online and we really hit it off. We text each other everyday and I consider her as a close friend and I know that she thinks the same for me. The problem is that she just started college again while I still have a week to go, and I realized that I can’t just depend on only her as my one close friend, especially since she has a large network of friends and a lot of close friends she can depend on.
I’m going to be a junior in college and my track record with friends has been pretty shitty so far. I have friends from church and this club I’m in, but I feel like I’m not close with any of them and thus I usually end up alone anyway since I don’t have anyone to talk to. Sure people sometimes come up to me and ask how I’m doing, but I feel like I don’t really connect with any of them and they’re not someone I can see myself talking to every/most days or hanging out with regularly, so those conversations always fall short and are just awkward. I’ve had “friends” from my classes too, but the moment the semester ends and the class is over they always stop talking to me and ignore my texts, so I’ve become distant with them too (and again, I felt like I didn’t really connect with them anyway and I didn’t hang out with a lot of them outside of class).
It just seems impossible to find anyone that I feel comfortable talking to and have fun with like how it is with my online friend, and I don’t get how she and other people out there manage to find close friends so easily. I asked her for advice and she said to just reach out to people, but I’ve tried that and it either ends up they ignore me or they become “friends” with me only to ditch me later like I mentioned earlier. I’m jealous of my online friend bc it’s only been two days since classes started up again for her and she already made friends in her classes, and I’m also scared that because she has a lot of close friends she wouldn’t need me anymore and that she’d rather spend time with someone more fun and interesting than me.
Any advice would be appreciated bc I don’t know what to do.
1 comment
A) when you’re feeling jealous and resentful, you need to be self aware enough to understand that it’s not rational. This is obviously very difficult to do, but you can’t let yourself get angry over it.
B) join some club, exercise group, sports team, hiking group. There’s got to be something that you enjoy that other people like too and get together to do.
Yes it’s weird and awkward to insert yourself into a group like that. Worst case scenario, you hate it and don’t try it again. That leaves you in the same spot you are now.
You know how they say you gotta have money to make money. It’s the same with friends, you gotta have friends to make friends.
Not everyone needs to be a close friend. It’s ok to have casual friends, these casual friends can lead you to meeting a close friend.