Hello! I recently cut off a friend group. I won’t deny it was pretty rough emotionally, but I’ve been lucky to have been adopted into a circle of lovely new friends and to have my partner to support me.
Basically what happened was my (ex) best friend (24F) was envious of the fact that I had friends outside of this main friend group we shared, and formed a clique inside the friend group to basically “have her own people.” We all met at work, and she and 3 other people all had offices close to each other. They would make plans to hang out and either conveniently “forget” to invite me, or she would say later she didn’t think that particular activity was something I’d enjoy, so that’s why I wasn’t invited.
For about a year it got worse and worse until her bond with two of the other members solidified, and every time I mentioned feeling left out, she would get defensive and upset. I’d get maybe two pity invites every time this happened, and then it’d go right back to how it was. The friends I had outside of this group also moved away, so this dynamic ended up having a really bad toll on my mental health.
Anyway, I finally got up the courage to cut them off a few months ago. Unfortunately, I am the sole admin of the Messenger group chat that includes them as well as other friends I’m still on good terms with.
I have notifications turned off for it, but I still hate seeing stuff show up on my feed. I’ve had the petty thought of removing everyone and deleting the group chat, but I think you get notified when you get removed from a group chat, and I think that would reflect poorly on me. The other option I guess is to leave, but there isn’t anyone I really want to make the new admin.
What should I do??
tl;dr: cut off toxic friends, don’t want to see group chat on my feed, don’t want to leave group chat and make someone else the admin, help! 🙁
Edit: Another reason I’m hesitant to leave is that there are a number of people in the group chat outside of the core group who I cut off. Sometimes they host events (with large enough numbers of people that it’s easy to avoid the others) that I do want to participate in. If only Facebook never got rid of the “ignore” feature :/
4 comments
I mean… its pretty petty that you’re not just giving admin to someone else and leaving since you’re no longer part of that friend group. It’s time to put your big girl pants on and get out of the group.
Leave the group chat
Leave the group and don’t. be bothered who is the admin next, not your problem.
It’s messenger. Start another chat with just the people you’re still talking to and leave the old one.