TLDR: Has anyone experienced this in a new partner? Is it age (he’s 26M), or cultural (he’s from Argentina), or just pure bad manners?

The long of it:
Him (26M) and I (36F) had been speaking for a while and ran into each other at a party last night. I was excited we were going home together for the first time. His friend (28M, Argentine too) drove. During the drive he’s sitting with me in the backseat, one arm around me – and every time I look over he’s rapid scrolling Insta stories. The driver seemed keen to click through all his Insta stories as we were on the highway, too.

We get back to mine, we make out a bit on the bed and I pop to the washroom quick. Not even 10 seconds later I hear noise from the bedroom from his phone – scrolling again.

This morning, I roll over and wake up to him clicking through Instagram. We say good morning. He’s still watching his phone. For reference, we are naked (and had great sex last night)! What the heck.

I cuddle up and start touching him to see if he puts the phone down. He touches me back. HE’S STILL WATCHING HIS PHONE. I finally make a comment and he protests that while he’s still holding his phone at eye level, he’s no longer actively scrolling
🤦🏼‍♀️

Before he left, he asked to make plans with me for next Friday. I’m not sure I want to follow through.

Has anyone else experienced this? I found it rude and dismissive.

Is it at all age or culture, or just plain bad manners in this man?

23 comments

  1. You are under no obligation to put up with behavior that you find offputting. I’m a similar age to you and that would be an immediate turnoff.

  4. I did experience something similar with my ADHD partner. Sex and intimacy can be something particularly difficult for people with ADHD. I’m not saying he is, though.

    I don’t think it’s a cultural thing as where he’s coming from, I think is more of an age thing. If you keep seeing each other, consider telling him how you feel.

  9. So wait….

    You guys were making out. Yea both got naked…you got up to use the restroom, and when yea got back while both of yea naked was on his phone?

    Did i get that right?

  10. I think this is a maturity difference more than anything. If you want to just hook up with the guy then I’d say meet up, but he sounds like he lacks any self-awareness and is pretty immature. The 10 year age gap hits hard here.

  11. As an Argentine he’s a dumbass. Very typical for Argentines really. Had a younger roommate and he just straight up forgot to pay bills and things. It’s a thing over there but not unique.

  12. Phone addict for sure. I’m 26F and it’s so disrespectful to be on the phone all the time. Big turn off. If I’m going to be on my phone it’s because he stepped out to do something. Also, we loved showing memes to each other.

  13. He’s a kid! Theyre into being viral. In our age range dating 23-28 is pretty much just a fun ride and boredom killer.

  14. Don’t let it bother you! He’s just setting up his Live channel so he can share his love with you. Very common really.

  15. I mean that is annoying but what is happening to allow him to be that distracted. However cell phone addition is real and could be the case

  16. Yes it’s the worse feeling. You feel that your partner don’t. Think your attractive enough to spend time with you totally understand that’s why. My wife is an ex she’ was always in it whenever I turned around so I sat her down for a talk and it went good for a day or two then I came home from work and she was having phone sex needless to say she’s gone don’t let it get to that

  17. My ex had terrible phone addiction. Would always need to scroll even when we were watching a movie. Hell I remember on my birthday we were making out, she was lying on top of me and seemed kind of distracted. I turn my head and yup she’s scrolling insta. Probably an ex for a reason.

  18. Ditch the guy. If he’s with you and his attention is not one hundred percent with you, then he doesn’t deserve you. It IS rude, and it says a lot about him. Believe me, he wouldn’t sleep less if he would lose you. How different would it be if he would lose his phone, or heaven forbid, access to his Instagram account! I bet his whole world would come crashing down. No, this kind of man isn’t worth it.

    I have no insta, no Facebook, no Twitter, nothing. I stay far away from them, it poisons the mind.

  22. No way you are giving another chance. If he texts just say “hey I really had a good time with you and you are an amazing person. Unfortunately I don’t think I’m the right fit for you. Take care”

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