Me and my gf have been dating for two years. Being gay, I always felt like having other queer friends could be a bit of a grey area. Not because everyone wants to have sex with each other, but just because there’s usually always some history there in some way or another- I’m very open about my relationship with my girlfriend, so I figured that even if they are attracted to me, it wouldn’t be an issue because I’m firm in my boundaries and they are respectful.
Well, I’m also someone who tends to reconcile with others. Not exes, but friends from the past who I may have drifted from (male or female, gay or straight). My girlfriend picked up on a pattern of me not realising someone is attracted to me, denying it, and continuing the friendship. I know it sounds bad- but I can wholeheartedly say that with some people, I genuinely didn’t believe they felt attracted to me. This came to a head around a month ago when I went to a party and made amends with an old friend who i eneded in bad terms with. She got really drunk that night and was all over the place, crossing my physical boundaries. I spoke to her and our mutual friends spoke to her too, and they reassured me that she just gets like that when she is drunk. I told my girlfriend and she told me about the pattern of these people who have the potential for grey lines. I was taken aback as I didn’t realise it- but a new boundary was formed between us that I totally respect, and it’s to not continue friendships with people who are attracted to me or have been in the past, to mitigate any chance for silliness.
I never really saw the issue, but my gf helped me to understand. Again- this is not any underside tactic because I’m secretly cheating with these people- I’m just a naive idiot and I assume that most people can be adults about things regardless of their feelings. I have had a few friends (before my gf) that I had a crush on but I kept it respectful.
My question is- is this a break up worthy offence? I feel like my girlfriend still feels weird and I think she distrusts me. I know this sounds like textbook ‘you’re playing dumb’ but it’s not. Now that I know that it makes her uncomfortable and she’d rather I not be friends with anyone like this at all, I will be far more discerning. This is my first serious relationship btw. I kinda don’t really know what I’m doing.
TLDR- blurred friendship boundaries, gf does not trust