As the title says my girlfriend does want to have sex with me but she just finds it extremely frustrating when most of the time she does not orgasm especially when she can orgasm several times in five minutes by masturbating instead.
For a long time I’ve blamed myself and just thought that I need to get better at oral (we always start with that and if she can’t orgasm then we stop), but I’m starting to think it might partly be down to her as well.
I’ve found out that she can’t orgasm from intercourse (which I know is common). She can’t orgasm from using her fingers or a vibrator and has masturbated all her life by crossing her legs and applying pressure. I think the fact she has always masturbated using this one specific technique could make it harder to use other techniques? She has also been on antidepressants for most of her adult life which I think could be making things more difficult. She’s also gained around 50lbs since I met her (she’s 5 foot tall so it’s quite a lot of weight for her) and now has body image issues and feels unattractive.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation?
6 comments
Two things- first a woman can orgasm in many ways and in different degrees of pleasure. So to say she can’t from PIV, or toys, or oral is not exactly the truth.
Second, the earth shattering orgasm she achieves in her method is the one she’s looking for and yes bc she’s conditioned her body to experience it in a certain way will make it very difficult to achieve any other way. It’s like our version of a death grip. It’s hard to break that, especially if she’s been doing it this one way for her whole life.
Is there a way in her method that allows for participation? The pressure she applies, what does she use for that and can you be used to supplement that pressure?
Well, you can fuck her from behind while she applies pressure with a pillow.
Try to recreate a position where she can orgasm and then add penetration.
It’s gonna be down to her and how she’s conditioned herself to orgasm.
There are a few things you can do, just above her pubic area is a soft section, lower tummy area, you can place a hand there to add pressure whilst in PIV.
Or for oral, just ask her to squeeze your head obviously within your limits too.
Or prone bone and add a pillow to lift the butt up so it’s more angled.
True to my screen name: try anal play.
Finger fucking her ass during PIV or while eating her has worked well for my women. If that works, you can graduate to a toy and eventually anal sex. [Some women](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/bfcf7j/anal_orgasms_are_so_much_better_and_more_powerful/) report that anal sex gives them fabulous orgasms.
I could never orgasm on antidepressants. It really may just be a side effect of the pills
She comes a really specific way, so it will be hard to have her come during sex unless you guys get creative.
1) she should start mixing up her masturbation styles to see if she can get herself to come a different way by herself.
2) you can incorporate her leg-cross method into your sex. Do foreplay, then tell her to cross those legs and make herself come for you.
3) you may be able to get her into that position and have sex at the same time. It might take experimentation.