I (24m) am dating this girl (23f) for about 2 months, but before that we were in a situationship for about 3 months. In the beginning she didn’t want to be in a relationship with me because she said we have to know each other first before we are ready to commit to a serious relationship, but since the beginning i was sure i wanted to be in a relationship with her and i told her that. The problem comes now: she is the first girl ever i have been in a relationship with. She is my first everything, and i am afraid maybe i wanted so much to be in a relationship to feel validated and loved. But now that we are in fact in a relationship the reality that i don’t have any experiene besides her is eating me inside and i don’t know if i want to be with only one girl for the rest of my life. She’s a good girl and i like her, but she already have had her previous experiences and enjoyed her “single” life. I didn’t had this chance yet and i wish i had before comitting to a relationship…
tl;dr: wanted so bad to be in a relationship for the first time, now i wish had enjoyed a “single” life before i comitted to her.
3 comments
Dude, I get it. But calm down.
You are in your first relationship since t w o months. You aren’t married. You didn’t sign a damn contract. Let yourself enjoy your first relationship, alright, buddy? Don’t stress yourself so much into a commitment. If you want to date around later on you will have plenty of time. This is your first love. And that’s something special if you really love her. Let yourself have that experience.
Also, single life sucks. Esp if you are a dude. It aint easy to date around as a guy, you can’t just pick up girls left and right. You more than likely will end up lonley for a few years until another sweet girl gives you a chance. So don’t ruin it.
Deep breaths, homie. You’ve been together less than half a year, and it’s not like you’re married with children lol. At this stage, either of you can leave whenever, with ease. Acting like you’ve been put in supermax for the rest of your life is just going to make this relationship go sour, and *fast*.
It is exceptionally rare for someone’s first relationship to be their final relationship. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but it’s incredibly unlikely that you’re gonna be with her forever.
It’s emotionally healthy to live in the now. (That doesn’t mean we should abandon all thoughts of the past and future.) Look into mindfulness practices to help ground you in the present.
Theres nothing that says you can’t break up and try the single route
If the love or the relationship is becoming stagnant and no longer exciting or makes your heart sing, talk to her about it and if you two can’t work it out, end it.
If you’re no longer happy, you have the right ot end thingss