My now ex-girlfriend and I are both 21. we dated from 15 through to 21 and went to uni together. We ended things yesterday. We never fought or anything but it seemed as we grew into our own separate individuals. We had different goals financially, travelling, where we want to live etc. we didn’t share any mutual interests or hobbies. It was very stale for a bit now.
We broke up and it was so healthy almost like we are genuinely still friends. She initiated it to be honest. I don’t want to get into it but I have reason to believe she has feelings for another guy.
But damn I feel so relieved. I always felt this huge pressure to land a high paying job and to achieve crazy things that sort of rooted from the relationship. I always felt restricted to where we currently live but finally I feel like I can travel and see the world. I feel sort of free. I don’t have to take anyone into consideration anymore, I am free to do what I want. I am a quite anxious person and I feel like all my anxieties left. It’s kind of crazy.
The first thing I did today was apply for university exchange in Australia which is on the other side of the world. I will be going with my best friends and I am genuinely super excited for the first time in a long while.
I definitely think sometimes I will be sad because we had great times but I am so excited to what is ahead.
Has anyone had a similar experience? I always thought I would be so so devastated. Maybe that is still coming, I don’t know.
17 comments
If it’s been a long time coming, it’s not surprising you feel relieved! Sure, the sadness might come but I think you know this is for the best so just remember that if/when you do feel sad. It sounds like you ended things on great terms so good for you! Enjoy whatever is next 🙂
Man I’m happy for what you feel right now. But idk I see a lot of men suffer 2-3months after breakup. If it didn’t come after you then congrats you achieve genuine happiness. Keep on living and goodluck to your journey.
Congrats :))
Your feelings are totally normal, don’t second guess it just be glad that the relationship ended on a good note 🙂
You are both 21… Go meet new people and have bew experiences. Of course you feel relieved.
This sounds very healthy, especially when you consider the age you started dating. I’ve felt that relief after a relationship ended, and the freedom is nice.
The obligation to make life decisions based on a partner is stressful. When that partner becomes more like a good friend, going your separate ways and living your best lives apart is good.
hope you have an awesome time in Australia! Sometimes things just have an expiration point.
I really admire your outlook. Breakups look different for everyone and emotions are complicated. If you feel sad, let yourself feel sad. It will be normal. Feel how you feel.
I wish you the best for your future. You are so, so young and now is the time to take chances, travel, meet new people, have new experiences, and enjoy life, however that looks to you.
Damn that’s still sad, but glad it gives you new energy and relief. Posts like this make me wonder how my relationship will end up
I ended a long distance relationship in October. It was a huge relief and we’re still friends.
Although my past relationships certainly didn’t last as long as yours, I think it’s a pretty normal feeling!
The way I view it is you both gave it your all and it didn’t work out. And that’s fine.
Yes I had a similar experience recently. We were both good people and tried really hard, but we were just not a great match. We both knew it but kept trying because things were basically good between us, just not great. When she asked for a break, I resisted, I didn’t want to give up. But pretty quickly I had this sense of relief. Like I was working on some jigsaw puzzle that had mismatched pieces and I finally realized, screw it I’m throwing this out. Now I’m in a great relationship and it seems effortless by comparison. The adjustments I make with my current GF seems like nothing
My 6-year long ex.
We were extremely toxic for each other. We knew we had to break it. We, however, were also “in sync.” I will never meet another girl that would pop wheelies in sync with me on a superbike, hold hands with me at 200km/h, or constantly leap frog between who’s setting a faster lap time. But outside of this, I always had the lingering thought “I don’t see a sustainable future with this person…” And, frankly…I’ve never met a girl into motorsports who wasn’t fucked in the head somehow sadly lol
On my birthday, 3 weeks after we broke up, she called me outside the karaoke bar I was at. She asked if I wanted to see her. I remember the agony; I really did want to see her. But we both knew we weren’t good for each other. I told her we shouldn’t, and channeled those emotions into singing. Made a few ppl cry. Hell, I couldn’t finish the song because the emotions took over and I started crying. CAN’T FUCKING SING WHILE CRYING!
This is one of the most painful memories I have.
But there was also relief, I knew I could do better, find someone better, and eventually I did. Also dating is really fucking exciting!
Have fun; hope the agony doesn’t turn it’s fugly head on you.
Just left a 7 year relationship. It was extremely toxic and we did not end on good terms and I’m extremely relieved. Don’t feel bad for feeling relieved. Y’all got together at an extremely young age as my ex and I did. I was 16 and he was 18. People grow and change and sometimes that change can make two people grow apart but it’s all for the better. Good luck with your schooling and focus on yourself. Better things are coming!
It ended on a good note. That’s great and so nice to hear the healthy end of a relationship. If it hits you later grieve for “what might have been.” But celebrate that you are still friends.
You will still have the adjustment of me instead of we. It’s hard breaking the habit of someone else. Other than that, you have so much to look forward to. Good luck in Aussieland
This is why most people should not marry their high school sweethearts. We all change a lot, even in our early-mid 20s. Congrats on your freedom, and live your best life!!