What do i mean with i need to change? It’s rather simple (not really). So the thing is i’am currently in a relationship with a Girl and i love her very much but i fucked up so much in the few months that we know each other. I’m accusing her of cheating at least once a week, bc of her past and her feelings towards the topic of sex. I would say we have a rather good sex life (sometimes i’m to affraid to initiate bc she told me she sexualised herself in the past alot) and i love to have sex with her i really do. she’s so great in bed and we always do aftercare. but the thing is i don’t think it’s as special to her as it is to me. (she has a rather high bodycount for her age and i shamed her alot for it. I know i’m a piece of shit for that but i’m just so insecure bc she’s only my 2nd GF and my 1st one cheated and did other terrible things to me) So i really wanna change but everytime she is not around i have those thougts in my head of her meeting a man she just clicks better with or someone who is very good looking, and than she’s just gonna leave me or cheat on me. I don’t wanna have those thoughts really, if i could i would just turn them off but they stay inside my head the whole time and only dissapeare when i drink. and i don’t want her to be hurt so much bc of me bc she really is a great GF, the best to be precise. and i don’t wanna loose her and i wanna make her feel as good as she makes me feel she deserves it. so if anybody ever felt or feels the same how do you cope with being insecure and having trust issues? Pls don’t talk down on me for what i did i really wanna change and i know that i’m stupid for letting my emotions getting the best of me and shaming her.