I live with my partner and we have been together just over 2 years. On an evening when we’ve got nothing planned and we’re not watching tv etc I like to play video games. I don’t really do it often, maybe twice a week. When I do this my partner tends to watch videos on her phone. I like to be able to hear what’s happening on the game so I put my headphones on.
The headphones needed charging so I had to sit closer than I would like to the tv. My gf then proceeded to keep tapping me on the shoulder to show me videos or photos she’s seen online. I told her I was trying to concentrate on this and she was interrupting me too much when I was busy. I told her to just save the videos she wants to show me and I’ll watch them all when I’m not busy.
She said I should be fine with her showing me them and I just asked if he would be happy if I kept interrupting her when she was busy. She said it wasn’t bad since it was only short videos she was showing me but I pointed out she was repeatedly interrupting me which means I’m constantly distracted instead of focusing on my game like I’m trying to.
She just repeated that I was being unfair and she doesn’t see an issue with showing me short videos she likes. Does anyone have any advice on how they would handle this?
tl;dr my gf repeatedly kept interrupting me when I was busy to show me videos and photos. I asked her to just save them and show me when I have finished but she said I should be fine with seeing them now since they’re only short videos. Does anyone have any advice on how they would handle this?
3 comments
Lol just tell her to stop. yur not being unfair she is being unfair after you already told her your reason for to stop and u gave her a solution for her to still be able to show u videos or later. She sounds like a 5 yr old wanting to show there parents a cool dance they learned. Those vids are not tht deep
It’s common to misinterpret your partner being in the same room as being available to distract with small, inconsequential trivia whenever. It sounds like your problem is that your girlfriend is not respecting your voiced boundaries. You were clearly involved and focused on a task which she was aware, and she could have respected your request to give you a couple hours to enjoy your hobby.
She should be reminded that coincidentally being in the same room does not denote quality time spent together, and that it is not unreasonable to want time to focus on yourself/hobbies now and then without being interrupted by her impulse to share social media with you every five minutes.
I was in a relationship with someone who had a huge gaming tendency. He actually put a ban on me speaking while he was gaming because it distracted from his focus. Except he gamed all the time. Guess who is an ex now? Don’t be like that, she does not need to be absolutely silent because you are gaming, especially in a shared living space. Keep that in mind, too.
A possible resolution: If you want to be alone, then maybe play your game when she is gone or has other things to keep her occupied (beyond social media) so that she isn’t relying on you for her social outlet at the same time as you are trying to play a game.
>She just repeated that I was being unfair and she doesn’t see an issue with showing me short videos she likes. Does anyone have any advice on how they would handle this?
Is she just asserting she doesn’t see an issue with it?
Or is it that she’s making that assertion and she’s continuing to interrupt you after the convo.
It’s okay for her to disagree with your boundary.
If she’s still ignoring the boundary by continuing to interrupt, then you’ll need to decide what’s the consequence and communicate that. That could mean something like shifting things to a space where you can close the door if there’s one available or going to a friend’s house when you want to play…