I’ve been seeing this guy for almost 2 months. We see each other about once a week. We do text every day but it’s pretty limited. I’d say all is going well based on that.
The past 2 days, he hasn’t texted good morning. Today though, he didn’t reply when I texted him about 7 hours ago. This is the first time since we’ve started talking that I haven’t heard from him all day. Most people wouldn’t mind but for some reason I automatically associate this lack of communication with lack of interest. It’s exceptionally triggering for me because in my past two relationships…this similar lack of communication came when the relationship was near an end. Although me and this dude are not yet in a relationship, I see it heading there (and would love it to) so I want to kind of open up a bit to him about past experiences and how it’s definitely something I’m working on but it’s tough sometimes. I remember on one of our first dates he told me if there’s anything I need of him mentally or emotionally I can let him know- so I’m wondering if now is the time to open up.
I don’t want to approach it from the angle of “this is what you’re doing wrong” but rather “this is something I need in a relationship because of xyz and if you cannot accommodate that, it may not be right for me”
2 comments
I just had a conversation with the guy I’ve been seeing about how I feel like our communication through texting is lacking and it’s leading me to doubt his feelings for me.
Honestly, don’t feel discouraged from voicing your feelings! Even if it doesn’t go well, at least you’ll gain an understanding on how you all will be able to communicate through an issue down the road (if your relationship does continue to develop.)
I stated to the guy that I was talking to that I felt like he wasn’t that interested in me because I wouldn’t hear from him for days or he’d take hours to reply (but send 3-4 content filled texts when he did). He said he doesn’t want me to feel that way, because he really does like me, but he’s never been a good texter and he’s worried that texting can be misconstrued. Ever since the talk he’s been increasing the amount he texts me so that I don’t feel inadequate.
I would stray away from jumping right to, ‘if you can’t do this then I can’t be with you’ just state how his lack in communication makes you feel and go from there. If anything ask if he’s willing to communicate more with you.
I understand your feelings, as I experienced the same situations many times. When you used to hear from him every day and it’s suddenly stopped, you are so anxious and worried to hell. But not hearing 7 hours means not the end of a relationship. Why don’t you send him a text like “Is everything OK?” Not too heavy not too desperate, just light message again.