I [M34] didn’t have a father figure growing up. I developed a lot of my mannerisms and approach to things from my mother. Now that I’m older I’ve realized that I was never taught how to ‘act like a man’. What are some manly things your father taught you that stuck with you today?

25 comments

  3. My Dad taught me to be kind, friendly and patient with everyone, let people tell their story to you, be weird, eccentric, vulnerable.

    It’s always easier to avoid a fight than it is to win one. Always look up, there’s a million things above your head that you walk past a million times but never notice, it’s beautiful up there.

    Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

    You can’t fix bad things you’ve done by doing good things, but never let that stop you trying.

    It’s ok to cry, it’s ok to ask for help.

  5. Approach every problem with a plan on how to fix it.
    If its unfixable, accept it.
    Channel your feelings to being productive.

    Always have critical thinking over everything you hear.

    But ultimately my dude, if you’re happy with how you are now, I’d say you’re perfectly fine.

  6. Be honest

    Be forthright

    Work hard

    Do not complain but fix the problem

    Protect your siblings and wife

    Only speak when you have something to say.

  7. Be yourself, be kind and be patient. Being a man is not a set of rules you have to abide by, what matters is that you’re happy.

    Liking things that are feminine or masculine is never wrong, having mannerisms taught to you by your mother are not negative things. Find a male figure in any way, whether it’s a character or a real life person and go from there.

  8. Yeah, grass isn’t always manlier on the other side:

    My Dad, when I was 12-13, took me hunting. To be a man.

    I had no gun.

    Dad would shoot the animals and injure them, then make 12 year old me go out and kill them by hand. I was too scared to come back empty handed.

    Single mom household never seemed that
    Bad to me after that season

  9. Believe in Yourself. In order to reach your goals, you have to believe you can accomplish them. Don’t worry, there will be plenty of people around to tell you that you can’t do something. Those people are talking based on their own limitations, not yours.

    Take risks. It’s ok to make mistakes. Learning from mistakes is important. Push yourself. Dare to do great things. And if you fail, get up, dust yourself off, and get back at it. Don’t play it safe all the time.

    Face your problems. Identify them and call them by their names. Learn to solve them yourself. That’s what brave people do. Don’t try to ignore your problems or hide them.

    Life is tough. You are going to be knocked down more times than you can count. It’s not the number of times you get knocked down that matters. What matters is that you get back up, and keep fighting for what you believe in.

    Work Hard. Work hard, and rest afterwards. Be responsible. If you do a half-assed job of something, expect to get called out for it. A lot of people miss out on opportunity because when opportunity knocks on your door, very often it’s dressed in overalls and looks like “Work”.

    Always get the other person’s side of things. There are two sides to every story, and while those sides can be “Right” and “Wrong” that’s not often completely the case. When you’re wrong, admit it. If you owe someone an apology, make it and mean it.

    Make Your Own Decisions. Just because someone is more educated or more experienced than you are, doesn’t mean they know what’s best for you. If you make mistakes, let them be YOUR OWN mistakes, not someone else’s.

    Loyalty is Not a Character Flaw. People remember who was still their friend when things got rough. Stand by the people you care about.

    Keep your word. Once you break it, it’s broken forever. The day may come when you need the benefit of the doubt, and if you have a strong reputation for honesty and integrity, you will get it.

    Respect is earned. It’s earned through keeping your word, and being honest. You can’t buy character and you can’t be given it.

    Don’t Quit. Winners win; losers whine.

  10. Don’t worry too much about what others might perceive as manly. Sounds corny, but a man is true to himself and what he knows is right for him. That might be baking pretty cupcakes or building a log cabin with your bare hands or anything in between.

  11. Be kind, be respectful, be patient, be warm. Learn to take care of yourself and the people around you. Bow out of unnecessary fights, and don’t let the opinions of other matter. To fail is to quit, but quitting doesn’t always mean failure. Everything has its moment, but it may not be the one you inhabit. Don’t confuse strength with being emotionless. Don’t expect handouts, but appreciate them. The word “no” can get you just as far as the word “yes”.

  12. Be extremely assertive in everything you say and do, regardless of if you are right or even know what you’re talking about. Don’t take criticism and if you disagree with anyone, insult and belittle them.

    Or, you can just be a nice human. Man or not.

  15. Find an older mentor and be honest about what you’re looking for, most men would probably be honored to help you. Also, study stoicism and Buddhism, it will give you a good grounding. Lastly, find some martial arts you enjoy and train hard. Builds great character. Good luck, aim high go far young man 👍

  16. I think these are just for acting like a good person but it might fit the description for “acting like a man.”

    1. Be confident but not arrogant

    2. Be compassionate but not overly sentimental

    3. Be attentive but not overbearing

    4. Be disciplined but not rigid

    5. Be curious but not intrusive

    6. Be optimistic but not naive

    7. Be assertive but not aggressive

    8. Be self-aware but not self-obsessed

    9. Be generous but not wasteful

    10. Be patient but not passive

  19. My father is a gentle, sweet, caring and thoughtful man. He was the stay-at-home parent in an era where men almost *never* did that. He planned birthday parties and made our lunches for school. He organized the household, the appointments, the meetings with teachers. He volunteered his time to the things we were interested in, and the issues he finds important. He’s never once enjoyed anything traditionally masculine, and though many have looked at him and thought of him as weak, I think he’s actually stronger than just about anyone.

    The best lesson about manhood that I learned from my father is that there’s not “right way” to “act like a man” other than standing true to yourself and your values—something that I believe holds true for all human beings.

  20. Figure out what’s important to you and where your morals and values lie, and stick to them. Don’t compromise those for anything or anyone else. Outside of that, men are built to put up with a lot of shit. Take pride in that and continue to move forward.

  24. A man can do more when he has a clear sense of meaning in his life, and serving/supporting others tends to be a solid basis for meaning.

  25. Be kind to children and seniors.

    Don’t engage in idle gossip about other people. Avoid putting effort into impressing women with things that are not normal for you.

    Here’s a big one. When there’s a problem, solve it. Don’t waste your energy talking about how it affects you.

    Learn how things work. These can be as simple as a alert light going off in a car or how to change an electrical plug in the wall.

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