I have these friends in uni who I generally like and hang around a lot with. The problem is, they’re all women and they tend to vibe with each other better than I do with them. As such, there a lot of times where they just end up hanging out without me, plus they live on the same floor too and at times it’s made me feel kinda rejected. I talked with one of them and she said that the idea is there are certain things that they do like shopping where I wouldn’t really be useful or belong if I hung out so it’s more of an “all girls activity” whereas most everything else I am fine and she has insisted no one hates me and that just because they do things without me doesn’t mean I’m not a valuable friend (which to be fair, they do still tend to accept me around). I’ve kind of accepted that but it still makes me feel unsure and I’m worried that by them setting this one boundary, they’re gonna eventually set more until I’m pushed out forever. What do I do? Do my friends still like me and are they people I should be around? How do I find ways to make my friendship stronger?

3 comments
  1. One way is to ALSO have some guy friends, so that way it doesn’t feel “rejecting” when they’re doing more women-oriented things. If you have more things going on in your life then you won’t feel/be as clingy. (which is always off-putting)

    More than one friend group is the way.

    You GOT this!

  2. If you think there is positive energy there with them, build a relationship with each one separately (provided you both click with each other)
    Let them hang out with each other it has nothing to do with you. If you actually like to shop and like the activities they do, do it on your own or with one of them or a new friend they don’t know or a guy. Have a blast and tell the group about your fun time. Make new friends and make new memories, by the time they ask you to come shop with them you may not even care or it won’t be on your mind anymore.

  3. Some own insecurities mentioned there, it’s difficult I know as I have been there, learning to be on my own was best thing I ever did, I tend to feel bad for people now who can not be on their own at any point.

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