I (M24) am struggling with doubt in my relationship with my partner (F22) of 6 months. She is pretty much everything I wanted when I pictured a partner. She is caring, smart, funny, and loves me. My problem is the longing I have for being single and the doubt I have/desire to breakup. I am not sure why I want this. It feels like I can’t shake it. An important note is that she will potentially be moving away in six months and I am not sure if I want to move away from my family and friends (mid-to-large-sized west coast city). We rarely disagree on things, but I have found myself beginning to notice things I dislike (I know it sounds like a honeymoon phase ending). Has anyone struggled with this? Please offer any helpful advice you have heard; I don’t have anyone I want to discuss with personally, so I just need to hear another perspective. I don’t know why the relationship feels wrong.
I find myself fearing the doubt of not finding out what else is out there while simultaneously fearing I would lose someone so perfect for me.
2 comments
It’s really tough to sort those feelings out. The one bit of advice I’d give is if you’re feeling overwhelming anxiety about it (or even mild) I’d try to get that in check first before making any decisions. It’s hard to get clarity when you’re anxious.
The thing I’d ask yourself is -if you were to spend the rest of your life with her exactly the way she is now, would you be good with that? If no, Is say it’s time to break up. If yes, it could be just normal end of honeymoon. I think also grey area relationships are hard to sort through but oftentimes it does mean you maybe do want to break up, even if it’s hard to pinpoint a justification for it. That’s ok too
You’re young. If it feels wrong, trust your gut. Especially with the whole moving and uprooting your life. If you don’t feel 100% about this girl, don’t waste anymore of your or her time. To me this doesn’t just sound like the end of a honeymoon phase, it sounds like more than than that. You’re probably just not in a place in your life to settle down right now, so be honest about it. The longer you wait the worse it’s going to hurt both of you.