No judgment here just have a question for the men and ladies out there that have cheated.

14 comments

1. honestly the line once a cheater always a cheater only really applies to people who frequently repeat toxic behaviors. i’ve cheated once, and it was single handedly the worst thing i’ve ever done and the amount of regret I feel every single day and knowing I hurt my s.o. is enough for me to never do it again. But it really varies, some people cheat over and over, some will stop forever, but if when she did was over 10 years ago i wouldn’t worry and if you’re still wondering maybe just ask her if she would ever cheat on someone again? best of luck

2. She belongs to the streets

3. I think a lot depends on age, how long the relationship was and the circumstances. I’ve had several friends/family member cheat on their partner and I know some of their stories… Cheating is always wrong, but someone cheating on their partner just because they are in the right (or wrong) situation or it’s a spontaneous bad decision or it’s a common occurrence is different, to me, than the person who is in a long term relationship that’s been failing or not engaging even after attempts at trying to fix it… more of a stick spot. Again, the decision to cheat is always wrong, but I do think the steps that took to get there matter. So I don’t believe the: Once a cheater, always a cheater. Some of my friends are now in happy long term relationships and haven’t strayed for years and years and are beyond that… some just keep on the same cheating path and it tends to be the ones that cheat on a whim. Just my observations.

4. A cheater is a cheater once you cheat thats you disrespecting your SO. Now if your wanting a relationship with her then she needs to show you how trustworthy she is. And if she doesn’t prove to you move on cause you will get cheated on

5. i’ll probably get downvoted into oblivion for saying this on this sub, but just because someone cheated once does not mean they’ll do it again.

   yes, I am speaking from experience. several years ago I got into a long distance relationship with a lovely person who lived in another state and would be coming back to my state for school in the fall. it was very soon after i got out of the worst relationship of my life and i didnt think i was ready to date again but he was so great that i did it anyway. everything was great until i got the news that my mentor (who was like a father to me) had committed suicide. i rapidly spiraled into a pit of self harming behavior, reached out to the ex, and cheated on the lovely long distance partner. immediately afterwards, i felt terrible, and broke up with the LDP within a week.

   it is still the guiltiest and worst i have ever felt, and I will always regret it. I will NEVER hurt someone like that again.

   it’s a great sign that your gf was upfront and honest with you about her past. i obviously cant promise you she wont do it again, but her honesty is a big green flag.

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7. Given the fact that just about everyone has been cheated on by the time they’re 30, it’s likely that most people cheat at some point. Seems like everyone has a story or two about being cheated on but very few people admit that they themselves cheated.

   In my experience, when people cheat, the relationship is already over and they just lack (for whatever reason), the ability to end one thing before starting another.

   Further, dating someone who hasn’t cheated *yet* is no better guarantee that they won’t.

   I’m pretty certain that my (ex) husband didn’t cheat in his first marriage nor in ours…until he did.

   Every relationship ends until one doesn’t so I wouldn’t decide to date or not date someone based on them cheating in the past per se.

8. Not everyone cheats for the same reasons so not everyone will cheat again. That’s like assuming someone who was in prison will eventually commit another crime, sure is very likely but doesn’t mean there’s no exceptions. If you want to take the risk or not depends on how important she is yo you, ig

9. Once a cheater, definitely has a higher chance of cheating again than people who havent cheated.

10. My husband cheated 8 years ago. He was in his late 50s, the woman was much younger. He had just had a health issue that drove home the fact that he was aging. I guess you would call it a classic midlife crisis. We worked through it, he has done everything I asked to regain my trust and I am sure he has been faithful since then. He is fully engaged, very open with phone calls, etc, and we talk a lot. He is respectful of my boundaries and invites me to every after hours work event or social gathering.

    I do believe that it is possible to cheat, acknowledge it was a terrible mistake, and not repeat it.

11. The people who disagree with the ‘once a cheater’ phrase are usually cheaters themselves or people who have duped themselves into staying with a cheater

12. you should have asked for opinons from people who have been cheated on buddy, and not the other way around.

13. I think it’s possible for a one-time cheater to never cheat again, but they would have to go to great lengths to win my trust. Did she show remorse? Has she got to therapy? Has she explained why her morals and boundaries were low back then and what she’s done to fix that? It’s great she told you, but what has she DONE to work on herself since then?

14. Cheated on my college bf because I was emotionally checked out. Broke up with him. Have not cheated in the decade since on my boyfriends, even when things get hard. Now I know to just end it. People can change. Also, just because someone hasn’t chested doesn’t mean they, including yourself, wont!