I’m dating this women and we’re almost like a soulmates. We love each other, and we’re in serious exclusive relationship. I won’t go into details but we’re having the best times together.
However, once I’m in love, I am sometimes paranoid (I need to work on that) and expect the worst.
She sent me screenshot of one Instagram message (content doesn’t matter) on her mobile screen and it had that :prefix: before it with her account name. THAT ONLY HAPPENS when you have more than one account on your Instagram.
Should I ask her if she has some private secret IG or?
*You see.. I have one as well and it’s pretty much dead bot account. Zero followers, zero anything.. created like a year ago. So the thing is she might have some inactive account there as well.*
But this got me thinking down the rabbit hole of overthinking.
I want to ask her about it. Should I bring it up in person and tell her that I noticed and ask her about it?
Like biggest green flag for me would be if she straight up showed me what she has there…. you see I’m trying to build a trust with her. Like when some women hits me up, I literally show her, laugh and delete & block… in front of her…
So I guess red flag would be that she would just say it’s something old – but wouldn’t show me? BUT WHAT IF I still want to ask her that I’m curious that I want to **see it..**
What’s the best step? because it got me thinking a looot and I just wanna see for my mental peace. I guess call me insecure and etc.. but I have only one life and I want to protect my time in case she is up to something.
**\*\*TL;DR;\*\* : She has definitely more than one IG account. How to ask her about it so I don’t sound controlling & insecure? If she doesn’t show me and I’m still interested to see what accounts, how to ask her to show me?**
25 comments
You need to see a therapist
I can’t lie, you seem very obsessed over this small detail.
But in any case I’d ask in a very casual manner. Don’t make it out to be a bigger deal than how it should be. Perhaps the next time you see a similar notification ask “Do you have another insta? š”
Answer is: you don’t ask.
Bro chill. I donāt know how long yāall been dating but considering her age. Itās most likely her Finstašš
I would say nothing she tells you she loves you she is with you have more confidence in yourself you do not want this to bother you work on letting this not bother you. We all have more accounts dead accounts one we forgot the password or whatever. Stay happy man if you struggle speak to the doctor maybe your depressed as your mind wont let you feel happy.
mental health 1st man, do not freak the girl out.
Google the word finsta
>it had that :prefix: before it with her account name. THAT ONLY HAPPENS when you have more than one account on your Instagram.
. . . what
I have two accounts, one for personal/family stuff and one for my knitting projects. I knit. A lot. And I donāt want to bore my family with it. So that Way I keep a dummy account with all my knitting projects.
Not everyone is cheating or up to no good.
Props to you man, seems like you’re taking accountability for your own doubts. You should be able to trust your partner vehemently and vice versa.
Keep in mind that if she is the one, you shouldn’t be worrying anyway, even if she did have a second account. Well done š hope everything works out for you.
Leave it alone. Itās entirely normal to have a second account, for a hobby or a pet or family or whatever, and if she wants to share that with you eventually she will. And if she does tell you about it but doesnāt actually offer to show it to you, thatās fine, and your curiosity doesnāt mean you get to pressure her to show it to you.
This is a really low stakes way to practice dealing with your trust issues and paranoia, so take the opportunity and just drop it.
> However, once I’m in love, I am sometimes paranoid (I need to work on that) and expect the worst.
I would focus on this instead, paranoia is very unattractive in a partner
I have another IG account for my cats. I’m a monster
Iām 38 and Iāve never used IG and even I know what a finsta is.
Huh.. a soulmate that you don’t fully trust. You really do gotta work on that.
Just ask.
“Hey babe, how many IG accounts do you have?”
She doesn’t need to show you. But I guess if she answers you’ll know.
If it puts your mind at ease, I’m currently logged into 8 (eight!!) IG accounts. 1 main, 1 old main on private that has embarrassing pictures with those hideous filters that used to be popular but that I don’t want to delete because nostalgia, 2 different hobby/art acounts that I have dipped in and out of over the years, 2 handles I’m sitting on because I had random business ideas at like 3am but have yet to do anything with, 1 old account for a company I used to work for that went bust and they never took my access away so I guess it’s mine now? And finally 1 burner that I originally made on behalf of my bestie to snoop on her ex’s stories for her. This is all to say that there are many completely innocuous reasons for multiple accounts, so deep breaths.
Now, if you’re determined to uncover the truth of her extra IG(s) to put your mind at ease, you could try saying you’re experimenting with extending your reach/trying to see if you can push a specific post to the Explore page, and ask if she has any random extra accounts she could throw you some likes from? Whenever I post on one of my art accounts, I always ask my (very patient) partner to like the post from all of his extra accounts to feed that hungry algorithm the engagement it craves.
My ex used to be like you. Heād get onto me the way the phone would ring on his end when he called me and kept saying it ONLY does this little beep when Iām already on a call and WHO am I talking to HUH???
It became an obsession. And tbh if my partner brought this up it would make me immediately take a step back from the relationship. You either have trust or you donāt. Seems like a you problem.
There’s nothing suspicious here yet. It’s completely normal for people to have more than one account. Some people make a second account just for the purposes of snooping around.
Try to work on your paranoia in the early stages of the relationship whilst you can. Things usually don’t get easier.
you see…. I’m kind of a big fangirl….and so i have like….7/8 fake accounts for voting and stuff…..and i wouldn’t feel comfortable ever showing that side to anyone….so like….give her the benefit of the doubt
When I was 20 I created a spam account which had loads of funny & ugly photos I didnāt want on my main because I wanted my instagram to be perfect. Gen zers tend to be more social media conscious so it could be a 2nd account for stuff like that. Honestly i wouldnāt worry about it, but if you do confront her I would play it off casually.
Just ask. I have three. One started as a personal account but I changed it to food and travel. Second is for comic con and third is a themed cosplay account. My friend has a business, personal, and book account. My sister has multiple for personal and sewing or knitting.
The only issue i see from this post is your insecurity stemming from whatever it is you got going
As once a very insecure man always thinking my gf is interested in other guys i can tell you thisā¦ if they will cheat they will, work on yourself and stop trying to police your partner
Forget you even saw it. Honestly I assume most people have a burner account
I have 7 Instagram accounts. And Iām not even joking
i have a second instagram account dedicated to screenshots of my outfits in a mobile game lol. you should just ask, and her response will tell you if you should be worried or not
Nope. Figure your stuff out. She’s entitled to privacy.