I have been told by a lot of people that I am disliked or annoying. I have a habit of talking too much and I am very socially awkward (awesome combo I know) so I think this might lead to it.
I don’t know man, I am just trying to make friends..I always have struggled to make friends and connect with people since childhood and honestly, I don’t know what to do anymore.
How do I talk less? I can’t just shut up permanently but whenever I open my mouth I feel like I will just blabber. How do I get people to at least consider me, I don’t know, not subhuman. It’s ok if they don’t like me, miles better than being considered annoying or hated. Just at least treat me like a fellow human being with emotions
And now I am going to rant(feel free to skip this part):
It’s such an old wound. It should hurt less. But it. Still. Does. So. Much. I just want to find some good friends and maybe fall in love. I have never had a girlfriend too. But honestly, At this point, I am not even expecting that I will ever find one. Sometimes, it feels like I will be alone for the rest of my life, once my parents pass on. I have no one else to talk to, no real bonds to show for literally 21 years of my life, despite trying and trying, and getting hurt again and again. Why do people hurt so much? I don’t feel like I am that bad of a person to deserve this.
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Its basic psychology, that people love to be listened to. You gotta learn that even if you dont care much, to still pretend. Whenever theres the opportunity to ask someone to elaborate on something they talk about, ask. “I was on vacation in spain recently.” – “Oh yea? Wich city?” or “For how long?” or “Wow nice, what did you do?” Yes, even if you dont care that much. Thats kind of how socializing works. I dont think most people give a bum about each others lives, except their friends/partners/families. It takes a while to train this and find a balance.
Tl;dr : Give people attention, they will like that. But dont go overboard.
We are electrochemical beings, so be careful what you eat, drink, etcetera. Maybe stay away (or do your best to) from caffeine, sugar, alcohol, processed food, and so on.
I can get pretty annoying as I’m finishing a joint, too chatty when my lady is trying to concentrate on ‘God’s Unchained’. Hurts a little sometimes, but I remind myself how I would feel if she was yapping while I’m fighting in ‘Elden Ring’…
I’ve notice if I quite down and just hang out with her, she will eventually talk, she waits for my energy to change, and I realize I was wound up from working all day and being in public and drinking green tea, and she’s been peaceful until I come home…
you might consider the possibility of having ADHD
Can I interest you in therapy?
You are still young. I have suggested therapy to people when they were your age, and now, 20 years later, they live a lonely, socially awkward life with no friends or romantic interests and STILL won’t go to therapy. They are sill complaining that nobody likes them and that the world at large is simply too shallow to give an aging, egocentric, stubborn, condescending guy a chance. Well. Yes. You can complain about that, or work at becoming less of a pain in the ass.
Have you ever been tested for adhd?