My (30f) boyfriend (37m) of 7 years has been shaving diligently the night before going grocery shopping ever since the camp kids came into town. The store is usually empty but when it’s the summertime, the camp kids swarm it. They look about 13-17 years old, definitely still in highschool. The counselors aren’t that old either, they look the same age as the kids.
They all get dressed up in very revealing outfits and put on a ton of makeup, as I would have done if I was “going out” as a young teen. I’m not shaming these girls at all, I went through my teen phase of always wearing a full face of make up and revealing outfits too.
He always used to stare at them in an inappropriate way and it made me uncomfortable. Like mouth open, triple takes at them. I’ve called him out on it a few times and he got incredibly pissed and said he “wasn’t checking anyone out” (he obviously was though- he doesn’t do it discretely)
He has been shaving diligently before he goes shopping, I had a feeling it was “for” the camp kids, but this week school started back up and he didn’t shave this week.
It really gives me the ick when I think about it too hard, but he rarely shaves on a weekly basis so it stood out to me as something out of the ordinary and sure enough, now that these kids are back in school he isn’t shaving before going to the store anymore.
Overall our relationship is declining pretty fast these days so I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable with this feeling or not.
Would you feel grossed out if your boyfriend who doesn’t usually diligently shave weekly, started shaving to go to the grocery store where it’s full of underage girls? And then stopped once they went back to school?
Just looking for others perspectives on the topic because out of context it sounds pretty insecure of me, but knowing he likes checking them out, and then like clockwork he stops making sure he’s groomed when they go back to school, is really making me feel a bit insecure and grossed out and like he was doing it for them.
34 comments
If you genuinely believe your boyfriend’s into underage kids, I don’t know why you’re still with him at all, much less hung up on his shaving habits.
What the actual fuck.
>He always used to stare at them in an inappropriate way and it made me uncomfortable. Like mouth open, triple takes at them.
I don’t care what he says. He has shown you that he is absolutely into them. I would have ended it them moment he opened his mouth and stared at them.
Insecure is not how I would describe this— a 37 yo male trying to groom himself specifically for minors is… alarming. You are responding very normally to an adult checking out young teens so blatantly. Please trust yourself and these feelings because I personally would leave a partner that isn’t interested in protecting the interest of children (I know some states legal age can be as young as 16 but I hope the general point was made)
This troll posts get more ridiculous every day.
In the slim chance this is not a troll.
Trust your gut. Get away, break up. If you can, sweep his devices for CP. If not, talk about your concerns with the police
Sounds like someone who’s hard drive needs checking…
Shaving? Like his face?
I can’t remember every having read the word “Shave” so many times in so few words.
It is not normal behavior for a 37 year old guy to spruce up for children.
What the hell
Let’s be honest here. This isn’t about shaving. This guy clearly has an issue with being interested in underage girls and you have noticed. I think it’s time to get out of this relationship.
You’re not overreacting. In fact I’m sure if you think back on your relationship there are likely more red flags. This guy’s gross. Not someone you want to be with.
If you’ve caught him checking out underaged girls, the ship has already sailed on trying to keep this relationship IMO.
The shaving thing is super weird to focus on, the open mouth staring and “triple take” looks at underage girls is the real issue. If he’s genuinely being creepy and clearly interested in UNDERAGE girls, his shaving habits are the least of the issue
I met a guy and had some gut instinct I tried to overpass. Turns out I was right about my instincts. Trust your guts, he’s never going to tell him himself he is into underage girls.
You said he’s “always” checked out these young teenagers, you say “knowing he likes checking them out,” as if that’s fucking normal or ok with you…what do you want us to say? You know he’s a creep and you’ve tolerated it for so long but it’s only an issue now because he’s shaving? Fucking gross.
So, who cares what he says? Of course he’s going to deny it. I would trust your gut on this one. Something is letting you know that this guy ain’t right. This isn’t an overreaction, it’s using data to make a decision.
Imagine having kids with this guy. Is he going to act weird around your daughter once she hits a certain age? What about her friends? Your family members who are teens? Do you want to gamble on that just to keep a relationship with a guy you already feel shady about?
Why are you still with someone who you caught checking out kids? Like seriously how is this even a question?
How can you stay with someone if you believe they are checking out underaged kids?
Christ, I can feel the taste of vomit in my mouth at the mere idea.
Well hopefully he’s only been grooming himself and not the children
Is it possible he heard young girls fall for groomers and he totally misunderstood the meaning?
Lot of red flags here with the boyfriend.
And not that it excuses an of his behavior but why are there a Bunch of camp kids hanging out at the grocery store every day wearing revealing outfits?
This is giving me the ick for you, and you’ve been together 7 years? he probs LOVED how young you looked when you first got together 🤢
He’s shaving to appear younger and approachable to literal children that’s absolutely disgusting and i’d be suspect of his browsing history. please leave this creep
What do you mean by “he always used to stare at them?” Has he stopped? The leering at teenagers is very creepy, even without the weird shaving thing.
You know what is happening and how it makes you feel. You can choose to tolerate it or not
Why would anyone stay with a predator? Stop bullshitting , he’s shaving for those kids . He’s revolting and you’re even more revolting for staying with him trying to convince yourself theres some other reason why he does that . Ugh
Um..what advice are you expecting tbh? If he’s checking out underage girls that’s no reason to feel insecure..that’s every reason to LEAVE Because he sounds like a creep
Honestly, the shaving could be nothing. I can see myself doing that: when the store is going to be empty, who cares, but when it’s going to be full of people (regardless of their age or gender), ought to be presentable.
There are a lot of problematic parts in your story, but I don’t think that’s one of them.
You already know he’s leering at children because you’ve seen it with your own eyes. A normal guy would get the ick and be repulsed seeing children half naked covered in a thick layer of makeup. The fact that he’s obsessed to the point that he’s grooming ahead of time in anticipation of seeing them is scary. You have to go through his laptop/phone and leave him regardless of what you find. There’s no future with him, you can’t have children with a man like this or have him around your niblings.
You’re not overreacting OP. If anything, you’re under reacting.
My ex husband did this (26-31 at the time) and I ended up divorcing him when he refused to stop spying on our teen neighbor who “I’m pretty sure knows I do it and is into it – it’s a compliment!”
I mean many other reasons but all related. He was a bit of a monster. But the net lesson for you is that if someone is into much younger people, they may be turned on by vulnerability (real, actual vulnerabilty, not just roleplay), which doesn’t make for a good partner.
Other things that I didn’t realize were correlated until after: him getting turned on when I cried, trying to have me be a stay at home wife, getting pissy when I made a lot of money or stood up for myself with other people, me being physically strong and not needing his help to move something.
You know the truth, quit making excuses and leave. If there’s anyway to check his computer and stuff, I’d do that too
I feel grossed out just from reading about it
I’m very confused. Why are kids at camp going to the grocery store so often? I went to many camps in my childhood and this was never a thing. And why the hell are they all dolled up going to a friggin *grocery store*? And how does your boyfriend just happen to know the exact time when these campers are, for some strange reason, going grocery shopping? How often is he getting groceries? Why such an emphasis on shaving?
This story makes no sense at all.
Ick ick ick !!! Oh god. If a scantily dressed teen was near my husband he’d give me an awkward “help me” face and try to get away. He would follow me until he felt safe LOL.
Any grown man who isn’t uncomfortable with horny teens is absolutely ick.
Just like for women.. if some teen boys were horned up near me I would EVACUATE the situation and laugh about it with my partner. Kids / teens are being kids / teens. We have no role in that .