What would you say if your neighbor came to your door and gave you stacks of $100 bills?

33 comments

1. ‘Thanks Ted! This was my favourite Ted talk’

2. “When the police knocks, I will still snitch, man. Just saying by the way!”

3. Shades of Pablo Escobar’s “plata o plomo”. He might *not* be dirty, but it is giving off very dirty vibes.

4. Not touching the money and close the door.

5. “WTF am I supposed to do with American cash”

6. “Thanks, man!”

   Then I’d drop off a roast or something at his house later.

7. *”What would you say if your neighbor came to your door and gave you stacks of $100 bills?”*

   Their mum.

8. Sweet. Thanks!

9. Bake the a dozen chocolate chip cookies

10. “Thanks man! Come on in for a cold one.”

11. Thanks, need a cup of sugar?

    Edit: I always liked Ted.

12. Split the money into 2 halves. If the police come knocking, show them the one half and be like “ yeah he just randomly dropped it off here one day I didn’t know what to do so I just held onto it in case it was stolen “ and then keep the other half. If they ask for the other half just tell them that’s all he gave you.

13. “Say no more” and close the door.

14. Thanks Ted

15. Those stacks would be disappearing like a ninja until I found a way to turn a fair amount of them into something more like $20s

16. I would say nothing but would immediately report it to the IRS. RIGHT EVERYONE?! WINK WINK NOD NOD

17. *You’re welcome* as he walks off. And not shit to know one about nothing because I ain’t no snitch and Ted knows that. When there are the inevitable unannounced guests, *down the hall, pantry cabinet, top shelf, behind the pasta*

18. “No, thank YOU!”

19. He said it’s for me, so. That’s contractual in a small town.

20. Why the fuck to people post these asinine hypothetical questions on /r/Askmen other than karma farming. That’s what I really want to know.

    If Ted dropped off some Benjamins, the first thing I’d do is go to my local bank and have them run ’em through the counterfeit detector.

21. Take half and hide it and keep the other half for when the police shows up.

22. I’d order a life sized shrek cutout to his apartment as a thank you

23. Put on gloves before I touch it then hold onto it in case it’s stolen.

24. I’d close all my doors and ignore my neighbor, I’d assume a group of men is waiting out of view waiting to rob me when I open both doors to grab the money.

25. It really depends on which neighbor.

    Neighbor 1: no questions asked or needed. I’ll keep it safe, and we’ll discuss what’s up whenever he needs. Should I clear my schedule and grab some tools in a hurry?

    Neighbor 2: I’ll hide it. And delete the video from my security. Come back after the cops have done their thing.

    Neighbor 3: oh shit, man. The cancer must have come back. If your wife asks, I don’t know anything.

    Neighbor 4: this is concerning. And I can’t keep it. The foster kids deserve every penny, and more

26. “What money? I ain’t seen nothing.”

27. I’d double check his alibi to make sure I tell the cops the same story.

28. “Thank you”
    Anything else would be rude, wtf lol

29. I wouldn’t do shit until I found out what the context was of the $100 bills. Why does he have them, why did he give them to me?

30. I would ask him if that’s the money his mom owes me for banging her weekly. Then tell her it’s short and to go get the rest and shut the door.

31. thank him kindly & ask if he’d like to come in for a drink?!

32. I’d offer him my shovel so he could bury the bodies.

33. I wouldn’t touch them with my bare hands. I’d leave them outside my front door, and go look for rubber gloves and a bag to put them in, then return them to the neighbor’s house. If he refuses to answer the door, or explain why he’s giving me the money, I will never trust it.

    I’ve twice had creepy experiences like this with suspicious guys driving around parking lots supposedly giving away expensive suits and jewelry. I’ve always told them no, and walked away.