Gf (25f) Suddenly Acting Distant When I (32M) On Vacation And Saw She’s Back On Dating App
I’ve dated this girl for 3 mo after we met on an app and in that time period it’s been really great and loving. We connected quickly and moved things fast and have been living together literally since the start. We spoke multiple times about eventually getting a place together for real and had intentional talks of our future together. Normally she and I would text all day every day when we’re not together. That suddenly changed when I went on this 11 day trip to Italy with my sister that I’m currently on. She’s been distant and cold acting towards me mixed in with enough loving comments and attention to keep me talking to her. She also rarely hung out with friends when we were together and barely introduced me to any. In fact stating she didn’t initially want to add our relationship status on her Facebook because she “didn’t want her friends to harass me about it.” Since I’ve been on my trip, she has gone out and drank with friends every single night. She even told me she hadn’t eaten in 4 days.
I have been trying really hard to be supportive during this distance and encouraging to see her friends and I appreciate the honestly in telling me what she’s getting into every day, even if it’s much more brief than usual. But things are getting progressively harder with consistency in our texting and I’ve noticed a change in the way she talks to me.
She told me very early on that she was going to delete the app we met on but after all of this sketchy attitude she’s been showing me, I checked and saw that she was still in fact on the app and was last online yesterday. I am not usually one to stalk around but something has been up and I listened to my intuition and see that she’s being dishonest.
I am in a different country right now for 6 more days and would really prefer not to have “the talk” right now but she has been really putting a huge damper on a trip that was supposed to be incredible for me and my sister and I’m just feeling like I’ve lost all control over my relationship suddenly.
I need advice on how to ask her why she’s suddenly acting distant and cold to me and try and get her to be honest about her intentions.
Tl;Dr My relationship went from very loving and close to distant and cold communication right when I went on vacation to Italy. GF is acting way different and is back on dating app that she said she wouldn’t use when we first started to date. Need advice to get her to open up to me her intentions.
5 comments
For a start, I know how rough this can feel and so I’m sorry to hear that it’s happening during what was supposed to be a nice vacation.
3 months isn’t a long time in terms of dating. In fact, it’s typical for people to begin dating after three months as after that time people start to reveal their truer colours.
This sounds like a conversation to have in person. But whenever you do have it, don’t address it as it’s a problem with her as that’ll get her defenses up and would probably just lead to an argument but instead calmly bring up the insecurity and how that brought you to finding out about her activity status on the app. Be sure to save a screenshot in case she does deny it.
She isn’t into you anymore; her actions have made that pretty clear. Why stick around for the heartbreak that lies ahead? She isn’t going to miraculously come around. You could either try to squeeze some life out of an objectively doomed relationship, or you could move on and find someone who will appreciate you and not join dating apps while you’re traveling. I mean, seriously. Writing is on the wall.
Holding onto a dead plant….. sometimes it hurts more hold on than to let go. Been there done that man. It’s just not worth it
It’s over. Sorry man.
Huh? Look, clearly you make bad decisions, but now isn’t the time to double down on those. She’s been your gf for 3 months and she’s already back on the dating sights? What do you think talking with her is going to accomplish? Start working on your exit strategy. I’m assuming that the place you live together is yours?